It's Mark is upon us forever
by EnsignAbby
Summary: The Doctor moves on with his life...and it just keeps getting more complicated. D/f, D/7, P/T. Now Complete!
1. Tom Meddles

Enjoy!  
  
*Title: It's mark is upon us forever  
  
*Rating:  
  
*Author: Abby (sugaraygal@hotmail.com)  
  
*Summary: D/7. Takes place after endgame. The Doctor moves on in his life...  
  
*Comments: I have had this idea in my head for quite a while now and I have to get it out! I know the ending is not exactly what people want, believe me I didn't start this story thinking that it would end like this! But overall I think I have written something that is unique and bound to stay in people's heads a whole lot longer that many fan fics. Enjoy!  
  
*Disclaimer: Paramount owns all characters and is credited for all storylines for Star Trek: Voyager. Some ideas for this story came from the star trek voyager episode "Virtuoso" and the Frasier episode from the 8th season where Daphne returns from her "spa". I can't remember the name of the episode at the moment.  
  
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Five months had passed since the crew of Voyager returned to the Alpha quadrant. The Maquis had gone through their trials, and were pardoned. The remaining crew members of the Equinox also had been put on trial, and they too were pardoned. Seven of Nine was seen as a wonder, a borg that had reclaimed her humanity. Jean-Luc Picard personally greeted her when she arrived on Earth. The Doctor had been welcomed by Reg Barclay and Lewis Zimmerman. Starfleet Medical had offered him a position as a professor, but he politely declined. In fact, the remaining crew members were offered jobs at Starfleet and some were even offered command of a federation vessel. But oddly enough, they all declined. It seems that after seven years together in the Delta quadrant, they were reluctant to separate. So Voyager continued as a functioning vessel, with Kathryn Janeway as the Captain. Paris remained as her loyal pilot, B'Elanna her Engineer and the Doctor as the Chief Medical Officer. Seven was finally given a rank and continued on as the chief of astrometrics. Harry Kim, now Lieutenant, was still stationed at Ops. Tuvok still at tactical. Chakotay her right hand man. Never too far away from home, the USS Voyager continued it's missions...  
  
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Captain's Log, stardate 5602.1 - We have been assigned on an ambassadorial trip to the planet of Trisus in the Cronime system. Although the Cronime system is only a 2 day trip from Earth, it has been avoided due to the fact that that the Trisians have been a pre-warp society until quite recently. Now that the Trisians have warp, we will be making first contact. I certainly hope that the Trisians are a peaceful people and are welcome to trade. Their planet is rich with minerals that would be useful to the Federation. Until we arrive there, the crew has been practicing Trisian customs... and some of them are quite strange. End log.  
  
Captain Janeway exited her ready room and made her way to her chair in the center of the bridge. Tuvok, taking the place of Chakotay that morning, was seated next to the captain's chair, and nodded his head in acknowledgment as she sat down. "Captain"  
  
"Hello, Tuvok. Hope you slept well." She took a sip of the coffee she held with both of her hands.  
  
"Indeed." He turned to the console next to his chair.  
  
Kathryn set her coffee in her lap. "How is it going with those Trisian customs? I still can't get the whole welcoming speech straight without sneaking a peek at the PADD." she smiled.  
  
He raised his eyebrow. "I am having no problems."  
  
Janeway's attempt at light conversation was failing. She noticed Tom shake his head as he monitored his console. She sighed and decided to try another time. She sunk into her seat. "Status"  
  
"We are approximately 4 light years from the Cronime system. At current speed we will arrive there in 5 hours." Tuvok stated with his usual monotone voice.  
  
"Great." the Captain said with a smirk, "There is no way I will be able to memorize that long speech and do my work"  
  
"At least you have had the time to look at it." Said a voice behind her head and she swiveled around to see Harry talking. "I haven't had time to take a break and read it. I've been too busy."  
  
Tom laughed and turned around in his chair. "With what Harry?" He folded his arms across his chest.  
  
Harry looked uneasy. "Uh...work."  
  
Tom didn't believe him. "Oh, so a date is considered work now?" Captain Janeway and a couple other members on the bridge looked from Tom then to Harry, waiting for his answer. Harry was turning a shade of red. "I, uh..."  
  
Kathryn didn't subject him to any further torture. "That's quite all right, Harry. Take a break and study those customs." Harry Kim, thankful for the captain's interruption, nodded his head and gave his station up to crewman Taylor. As he was walking into the turbolift, she added, "I don't want you to make a fool out of yourself in front of the Trisians." Tom stifled a giggle and turned his attention back to his console.  
  
***  
  
Upon entering sickbay, Tom Paris sighed as he caught notice of the pile of data PADDS piled up near a console. Great, he thought, more work to do. He searched his surroundings for the Doctor. Nowhere in the main sickbay. Tom headed into the office. Wasn't there either. A slight rustling from the lab caught his attention. He peeked around the corner to see the Doctor working on an experiment and writing more data on yet another PADD. Tom shook his head. "Doc!"  
  
The Doctor jumped at the sound of Tom's voice. He turned to look at him. "Mr. Paris, I didn't see you there."  
  
Tom walked into the room. "Obviously" Tom looked around him. Boxes of PADDs were lined up, waiting to be processed. He groaned. "Have you been working all day on these?" He picked up an odd PADD and looked it over.  
  
The Doctor huffed and grabbed the PADD out of Tom's hand. "Yes I have."  
  
He threw it back in the box. "I've been extremely busy."  
  
Tom opened his mouth to make a comment on that, but decided against it and changed the subject. "Have you been studying those Trisian customs? We are supposed to arrive within two hours."  
  
"Not yet. I have had too much to do." The Doctor brushed past Tom and made his way to his office.  
  
Tom turned around and stared at the Doctor. The EMH was sitting at his desk typing into his computer with his brow furrowed. Tom processed everything through his head. Doc's been working since he's been activated, he's is in a bad mood, and he hasn't even started to read about those Trisian customs. He seemed so excited yesterday when the Captain announced that we would be making first contact. Tom tilted his head. It must be one of those days... He sighed. Ever since the Doctor found out that Seven and Chakotay were getting serious about their relationship, his mood seemed to constantly change, happy one day, sad the next. Today was one of his worse days. He would become extremely moody, and use his work to try to distract his thoughts. Tom sighed again. He walked up to the Doctor's desk. "I can see right through you, you know."  
  
The Doctor didn't look up. "I have know idea what you're talking about."  
  
"Of course you do. You've been acting this way for the last 5 months, Doc. You didn't think that I would notice? Come on, Doc, you need to get over her."  
  
The Doctor lifted his head. His mouth wore a heavy frown and his brown eyes were full of irritation. "You had better get to work on those PADDs, Mr. Paris."  
  
Tom didn't budge. "You're torturing yourself, you know that!" He flung his hand outward. "Seven is not the only woman in the universe! Forget her!"  
  
The Doctor stood up and tried to move past him, but Tom blocked his way. "I can't." He said. He lowered his head and backed up a step.  
  
"Sure you can. You can do anything you set your mind to." Tom set his hand on the Doctor's shoulder. "Look, Doc, I'm your friend, and I can't stand to see you torment yourself like this any longer. I know that you loved Seven, but she is with someone. You should be happy for her. I want to see you happy too." He paused while the Doctor took this in. "Find someone else. I'm quite sure that there are plenty of women out there who are dying to meet someone like you."  
  
The Doctor let out a simulated breath. "Perhaps you're right, Tom." He sat back down in his chair. "I.. I just can't believe.." he raised his hand to rub his temples. "I can't believe that I wasted 2 years pining for her and she didn't even return my affections. You saw the way she looked at me during my deathbed confession five months back. Nothing. I was her friend and mentor, I shouldn't have expected her to have feelings like that for me. I am such a fool." The last sentence came out as a whisper.  
  
Tom pulled up a chair and sat in front of the desk, hands folded. "I can understand what you're going through."  
  
"Funny I don't remember you ever being a hologram being in love with a Borg" The EMH mumbled sarcasticly.  
  
Tom pretended not to notice. "You need something to pull you out of this rut. Show you the possibilities out there." Tom searched the office. He spotted a PADD with Trisian customs loaded onto it laying next to the Doc's computer and snatched it up. "This!"  
  
Doctor stared at the object in Tom's hand and raised his eyebrow. "What?"  
  
Tom handed the PADD over to him. "You are going to go out on Trisus and look around. See the variety of women out there. Meet someone new. You're bound to find someone who is your prefect match."  
  
The Doctor set the PADD down. "I don't think I can."  
  
"Don't worry", Tom said as he leaned back in his chair. He grinned cunningly. "Me and B'Elanna will help you." 


	2. Trip to Trisus

*Title: It's mark is upon us forever Part 2/?  
  
*Rating:PG  
  
*Author: Abby (sugaraygal@hotmail.com )  
  
*Summary: D/7. Takes place after endgame. The Doctor moves on in his  
  
life...  
  
*Comments: I have had this idea in my head for quite a while now and  
  
I have to get it out! I know the ending is not exactly what people  
  
want, believe me I didn't start this story thinking that it would end  
  
like this! But overall I think I have written something that is  
  
unique and bound to stay in people's heads a whole lot longer that  
  
many fan fics. Enjoy!  
  
*Disclaimer: Paramount owns all characters and is credited for all  
  
storylines for Star Trek: Voyager. Some ideas for this story came  
  
from the star trek voyager episode "Virtuoso" and the Frasier episode  
  
from the 8th season where Daphne returns from her "spa". I can't  
  
remember the name of the episode at the moment.  
  
*** (Previously on "It's Mark is upon us forever" LOL)  
  
Tom handed the PADD over to him. "You are going to go out on Trisus  
  
and look around. See the variety of women out there. Meet someone  
  
new. You're bound to find someone who is your prefect match."  
  
The Doctor set the PADD down. "I don't think I can."  
  
"Don't worry", Tom said as he leaned back in his chair. He grinned  
  
cunningly. "Me and B'Elanna will help you."  
  
*** (And now Part Two)  
  
The first thing Captain Janeway noticed when she and the senior  
  
officers were beamed down to Trisus was the smell. It wasn't a bad  
  
smell, in fact it smelled quite lovely. Raspberry with a hint of mint  
  
and... lilac, yes that's it, Janeway mused. She stepped forward and  
  
took in the scene. A group of Trisians stood in front of her,  
  
surrounded by what seemed was a garden. The only thing that made them  
  
look any different than Humans were ridges on the nose, some on the  
  
jawline, and, Janeway noted, hauntingly beautiful purple eyes which  
  
seemed to glow. One of the women, dressed in a outfit of ornately  
  
decorated sheer fabric, stepped forward. "Welcome Captain Janeway,  
  
and welcome members of the starship Voyager. I am Shrisa" She bowed  
  
her head slightly.  
  
O.K. here we go, Janeway thought. She motioned to the others behind  
  
her with a sweep of her hand and they all knelt down on the ground at  
  
the Shrisa's feet. They all began in unison. "The all-knowing goddess  
  
Chatranna has brought us from our home of far away. We have arrived  
  
safely in her hands and now we kneel at your doorstep..."  
  
The group of Trisians looked back and forth to one another. One  
  
shrugged her shoulders. One of the men mouthed to Shrisa to get the  
  
Captain's attention. She nodded and covered her mouth, attempting not  
  
to laugh. She squatted and looked down on the Captain. "Captain  
  
Janeway."  
  
The group continued to chant. "...fertility and humbleness blessed  
  
our home and the same we wish on yours..."  
  
"Captain Janeway!" she yelled.  
  
The chant stopped abruptly. Kathryn looked up and pushed a lock of  
  
hair out of her face. "Yes?"  
  
Shrisa laughed with a smile on her face. "I believe you have been  
  
misinformed." she said. "You see, we haven't practiced the  
  
traditional welcoming speech in about 200 years. I think ambassador  
  
Prosta must have sent you some over-exaggerated information about our  
  
customs. He has a sense of humor." A couple of Trisians behind her  
  
let out some giggles.  
  
The Senior officers got up and brushed off the dust from their  
  
uniforms. Most of them had embarrassed looks on their faces, except  
  
for Tuvok and Seven of course. Harry took a chance to lean over to  
  
Tom Paris. "Good." Harry whispered to Tom, "I didn't memorize the end  
  
of the speech anyway." B'Elanna overheard him and gave him a light  
  
punch in the arm.  
  
"Won't you please follow us into the main hallway." Shrisa said as  
  
she and the other Trisians began moving toward a large white  
  
building. The Senior officers followed, with giggling Trisians  
  
leading the way.  
  
***  
  
"There's no point in bringing me out here, Tom. " The Doctor  
  
said as he walked alongside the pilot. A civilian rushed past him and  
  
he unconciously patted his arm to make sure the portable emitter was  
  
still there.  
  
"Sure there is, Doc. You've had your head in a hole. Come on, breathe  
  
the fresh air." Tom lifted up his hands and waved them around as if  
  
to indicate the air surrounding them.  
  
The Doctor sniffed slighty and turned up his lip. "I have no need to  
  
breathe. And besides, this market smells quite strange."  
  
Tom put his arms down. "Well, I guess it's just a matter of taste."  
  
Just then a shout came from behind them. "Tom, wait up!" The two men  
  
turned around to see B'Elanna coming toward them fast. She reached  
  
them, and kneeled over, panting. She caught her breath and stood up  
  
to peck Tom on the cheek. "Sorry, I had to drop Miral off with Sam  
  
Wildman and send a list of materials the Federation is requesting to  
  
Ambassador Prosta." She glanced in the Doctor's direction. "Did I  
  
miss anything?"  
  
Tom let out a snort. "Hardly. He hasn't even come out of his shell  
  
yet. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he's behaving as sweetly  
  
as the day he was first activated."  
  
"I heard that" came the EMH's reply behind him.  
  
B'Elanna gave Tom a sympathetic look. They both turned around and  
  
continued walking. The Doctor picked up his pace and followed along  
  
side them.  
  
"So where are we going?" B'Elanna asked.  
  
"Well, we were heading toward this open marketplace. Supposedly they  
  
sell the best fabric in the entire sector there." Tom answered.  
  
"Aah" B'Elanna lifted up her chin. "Perfect place to meet someone."  
  
The Doctor rolled his eyes. "Like I've been saying, I don't need you  
  
two to find a date for me. I am perfectly capable of finding one on  
  
my own. Not that I want one..."  
  
"Nonsense." B'Elanna looked at him. "It is so obvious you need one.  
  
Your bedside manner has been terrible lately." The Doctor lifted his  
  
eyebrow. "You're begging for some attention, Doctor."  
  
The Doctor huffed. "I can handle myself. It's not like I can't deal  
  
with my own problems. I'm not a child."  
  
Tom piped up. "Well Doc, you are technically 8 years old." he  
  
chuckled.  
  
"A splendidly mature and intelligent 8 year old." The Doctor added  
  
bitterly.  
  
Presently they came into a square filled with vendors. Stands were  
  
filled with fabric. Others were filled with jewelry, and even some  
  
stands sold makeup. Tom looked around. There wasn't any stand that  
  
sold pottery or paintings or any other little trinkets. Tom scratched  
  
his head. "Hey? Where's the household decor? All I see here is  
  
clothing."  
  
The Doctor spoke up. "According to the PADD you were supposed to  
  
read, Trisians believe in the beautification of their bodies. It's an  
  
art for them. They don't adorn their homes with any type of  
  
decorations in order to draw more attention toward themselves."  
  
"I see" Tom said half-heartedly as he searched through the crowd to  
  
find somewhere suitable to drop the Doc off. In the back corner he  
  
could make out a doorway and a sign reading what could only  
  
say "Cantina". Perfect, he thought. "Hey Doc! A Cantina! Care to go  
  
in and experience Trisian people first-hand?" He leaned past B'Elanna  
  
to look the Doctor square in the eye.  
  
"No Thank You. I'd rather stay out here."  
  
"Come on! I'm sure there are plenty of interesting..." at this point  
  
he coughed. "Interesting women for you to meet." He lightly elbowed  
  
B'Elanna in the ribs. "Isn't that right B'El?"  
  
B'Elanna caught on. "Right! Yes, a bar is always a great place to  
  
meet women. Why don't you go on in and take a peek?" She nodded her  
  
head wildly.  
  
"Most of the women I dated came out of a bar." Tom added. This time  
  
B'Elanna elbowed Tom. Hard.  
  
The Doctor stared at the two with an amused expression. He could tell  
  
they were really trying adamantly to convince him that this was what  
  
was best for him. At least I know they care for me. He took in their  
  
cheesy smiles. They must if they are willing to make themselves look  
  
like idiots like this. He sighed. Oh well, the least I could do is  
  
humor them. The Doctor straightened his posture. "Fine. If you care  
  
that much I'll go."  
  
"Great!" they said in unison.  
  
"But don't expect me to go falling in love with the first woman I run  
  
into!" He waved his index finger at them. He started off in the  
  
direction of the cantina.  
  
Tom leaned down close to B'Elanna. "Don't worry. We won't. With that  
  
attitude it will be hours before a woman actually goes near him."  
  
***  
  
The Doctor stepped into the doorway of the Cantina and looked around.  
  
Small tables were arranged around the open floor. Trisians of all  
  
ages were sitting, talking to each other and sipping cool drinks  
  
which looked like fruit juice. Finding an open space at the bar, he  
  
made his way over at sat down. A bartender came up. "Is there  
  
anything I can get for you?"  
  
The Doctor grimaced. "No thank you. I'm not thirsty"  
  
The bartender nodded his head and walked away. The Doctor sat,  
  
looking at the other people in the cantina. They seemed to enjoy the  
  
things they were drinking. The Doctor sighed inwardly. I wish I could  
  
share some with them. But I'm a hologram, I can't drink. If only I  
  
could experience taste and the sensations that go along with new  
  
experiences. Like the time I uploaded into Seven's cortical node....  
  
He mentally kicked himself. Stop that! If you ever want to get over  
  
her you need to stop thinking about her! Stop! He put his head down  
  
on the bar. Stop it! He attempted to calm himself down. Ok, Ok, fine.  
  
This was a mistake. I shouldn't have let Tom drag me into this. I  
  
should have deactivated my program and not let Tom access it. I'll  
  
just leave... No, wait. I can't just go out there and tell Tom I  
  
didn't even look. He's going out of his way to help me. I'll just sit  
  
here, come out a little bit later and say I met a couple people. Yes,  
  
that's it, but they weren't my type. He smiled bitterly. All I have  
  
to do is sit here and wait. He drummed his fingers, contented with  
  
the plan he had set up. Yep just sit here and watch everyone else in  
  
here have fun but me....  
  
He was starting down a path of dismal thoughts when a voice behind  
  
him abruptly interrupted them.  
  
"Excuse me..."  
  
*** 


	3. Enters Imirika

The Doctor turned in his chair to see who was addressing him. The woman was short, with wavy black hair and the same purple eyes as all other Trisians. She had a long slender neck and a small frame. Quite beautiful. The Doctor noticed she wore a plain white dress, which was quite different than any other Trisian he had seen up till this point. According to Trisian customs, one decorated their bodies. He tilted his head in confusion at this fact. "Hello. Can I help you?"  
  
She walked up to stand next to the bar. "Are you from Voyager?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"You are the holographic doctor?"  
  
"Yes." The Doctor was slightly dumbfounded as to how she knew who he was. "How do you..?"  
  
She pointed to the chair next to him. "May I sit down?" The Doctor didn't seem to show any sign of protest so she seated herself comfortably on the stool. "I heard about Voyager's upcoming visit and I learned everything I could about your ship."  
  
"I see." That was about all he could think of saying.  
  
"Oh! I almost forgot." She held out her hand. "We need to properly introduce ourselves. We shake hands, right? That's what I read anyway."  
  
"Yes, I suppose so." He took her hand and shook politely.  
  
She took her hand back and tapped her chest. "I'm Imirika. Pleased to meet you." She grinned widely, obviously pleased with herself by completing the greeting properly.  
  
"I'm the Emergency Medical Hologram.. but, um, I guess people just call me Doctor." he finished lamely.  
  
"I know who you are. I've read all about you." She set her hands in her lap. They were small and seemed dry and grayish. "When I came in the Cantina and saw you here I just had to come over and introduce myself. You are such an interesting individual."  
  
The Doctor, focusing on his ego, completely missed the come-on. "Really? How so?"  
  
"Well, I think it's fascinating that you are devoted to the arts. I myself am a great art fan."  
  
"Well thank y.."  
  
"Considering you being a hologram."  
  
The Doctor stopped short. "Oh. I see."  
  
Imirika noticed she made a mistake. "Oh no no no. Please don't take it that way." She held out her hands. "I meant how incredibly wonderful it is for you to have gone past your programming and discovered your sentience, and try to improve yourself..." The Doctor raised his eyebrow. She paused. "I read the ships logs."  
  
"Aah, that explains how you know so much about me."  
  
"Yes" she said. Her cheeks flushed red.  
  
The Doctor smirked in amusement. "Well then, Imirika, since you know so much about me, may I ask a question about you?"  
  
"Sure" She smiled nervously.  
  
"Why is it you dress so plainly? I thought that you all took pride in decorating yourselves."  
  
"Oh." She looked down. "I'm an artist. A sculptor to be exact."  
  
That accounted for the gray hands. "But why the plain clothes?"  
  
She became more assertive, realizing this was a good chance to voice her opinion. "I don't believe we should embellish ourselves. It should be about the beauty around us. So I wear plain dresses to show people that I don't care about how I look." She glared at some of the Trisians in the Cantina. "I make sculptures, I believe in all types of beauty!" she directed towards them. They didn't seem to notice. "But no one wants to buy them. I'm abnormal because I think this way, and people know that and stay away from me." Her assertiveness gone, she lowered her head. "That's why Voyager interested me so much. I know you all love art in all its forms about as much as I do."  
  
The Doctor nodded his head in sympathy. He knew how it felt to be considered a freak. He was starting to take a liking to this girl. "You're not abnormal. You're unique. You just are surrounded by people who don't share your beliefs." She lifted her head a little higher in acknowledgment. He continued. " I know I would really enjoy seeing some of your artwork."  
  
She smiled at him. "Really?" He replied yes. "And I would love to see your ship!"  
  
"One step at a time."  
  
"O.K." She thought for a second. "Come to my studio this evening. I'll show you my favorite pieces. Then maybe I could..um.. show you around the city? We have some lovely gardens here."  
  
The Doctor leaned back. Did she just ask him out on a date? He looked at her. Judging by the apprehensive grin on her face she was. He thought about it for a moment, and surprisingly found himself actually wanting to go out with her. And why not? She was kind, beautiful, an art-fan... The Doctor halted his line of thought. Wait a second, Paris was actually right? I guess I do owe him some thanks after all.. Finally he made up his mind and sat up straight. He beamed at her. "Yes, Imirika. I would love to."  
  
***  
  
Tom Paris trotted back to the spot where B'Elanna was sitting in the shade. "I've got something for you." He pulled his hand out from behind his back and passed her a small box.  
  
"What's this?" She said playfully as she lifted the box's top. Inside was a necklace carefully set with various stones. All of them seemed to give off an eerie glow. "Oh Tom, it's beautiful." She smiled at him. "O.K., what did you do?"  
  
Tom laughed and held up his hands in mock protest. "Nothing I swear! I just saw it in one of the stands and thought it would be perfect around your neck." He leaned down to kiss her.  
  
She started to lean in but in the corner of her eye she caught the Doctor strolling out of the Cantina across the way. She turned her head sharply to stare at him, causing Tom to peck her on the cheek. "Hey Tom! He's out!" She pointed toward the EMH.  
  
Tom, disappointed at having his kiss interrupted, looked over and spotted the Doctor. "Hey, you're right! That was fast." He gave B'Elanna his hand and pulled her up. "Let's go see how he did." He waggled his eyebrows at her.  
  
They made their way over, waving their hands to try to get the Doctor's attention. After a few waves her saw them and stopped. They jogged the rest of the way over to him. "So," Tom said, "How did it go?"  
  
The Doctor tried to keep a straight face, but failed. His lips involuntarily turned upwards. "Just fine."  
  
"Oh?"  
  
"Thank you for dragging me out here, Mr. Paris" He patted Tom on the shoulder and with that continued walking in a fast pace.  
  
B'Elanna and Tom continued to stand there, flabbergasted. "Thank you I guess." Tom replied to the quickly disappearing back of the hologram. He turned to B'Elanna. "What just happened?"  
  
"From what I can tell..." She shrugged her shoulders. "...I guess your plan worked." 


	4. An Interesting Date

*Title: It's[Its] mark is upon us forever Part 4/?  
  
***(previously on "It's mark is upon us forever")  
  
"Thank you for dragging me out here, Mr. Paris" He patted Tom on the shoulder and with that continued walking in a fast pace.  
  
B'Elanna and Tom continued to stand there, flabbergasted. "Thank you I guess." Tom replied to the quickly disappearing back of the hologram. He turned to B'Elanna. "What just happened?"  
  
"From what I can tell..." She shrugged her shoulders. "...I guess your plan worked."  
  
*** (and now part 4)  
  
Imirika paced nervously back and forth in her studio. Is he coming? She checked her clock. It was a five minutes till. Still early yet. She stopped at one of her statuettes and turned it a bit so it faced the moonlight. There, perfect. She fidgeted with her hands and noticed how dried out and grey they were. She looked at them with disgust. Oh dear, that will never do.  
  
She went to her back room to get some moisturizer to put on her hands. But as she picked up the jar she heard the whirring of a transporter beam. Too late. She replaced the jar in the table and hurried out into the open room. She quickly smoothed out her plain white dress and tucked a few loose strands from her bun behind her ear. As the transport completed, the figure of the Doctor materialized. He was wearing his uniform, but she wasn't upset. After all, she didn't care about fancy dress.  
  
He took a few steps forward, looking at his surroundings and the interesting pieces of art laid about the room. He finally turned around and caught sight of her. He gave her a smile. "Hello Imirika."  
  
She smiled back at him. She couldn't help but feel excited. When she read about the Doctor in Voyager's logs, she knew she had to meet him. She felt as if she and him had so much in common. His love of art, his fight for his rights, to be able to believe what he wanted--, it was as if they were connected. She read what others thought about him, being a hologram and all, but the idea of being a hologram did not phase her. What does it matter? He is sentient, does have feelings after all. Why should it matter that he is composed differently? "I'm glad you came, Doctor."  
  
The Doctor fidgeted with his hands. "Likewise"  
  
They stood for a minute, staring at each other, not quite sure what to do. Finally Imirika broke the silence. She raised up one of her hands and indicated the rest of her studio. "Shall I show you around?"  
  
The Doctor, glad that one of them decided to take the initiative, let out a small sigh. "Yes, that would be wonderful."  
  
Imirika led him over to a corner where a few of her best sculptures stood. "Here are some of my best. I made them about a year ago." She picked up a smaller one from the table and handed it over to the Doctor. "This is one of my favorites. I call it 'Music from the Grektan hall'"  
  
"I see." he looked over the object in his hand. It was made of reddish clay, and didn't seem to have a shape whatsoever. "What is it?"  
  
She laughed lightly. "I really don't know either. It was what came into my mind when I was listening to the symphony. I guess it reminds me of the rythym."  
  
He looked at it again. Still nothing. The only thing he could think of was that it was horrendous, but of course he didn't say that out loud. "It's...interesting." He set it back down on the table from which it came. He looked up at her. "Do you make any statues of....still life? Or people?"  
  
"Oh yes." She thought about some that she could show him. "I have some figures in my courtyard. Would you like to see them?"  
  
The Doctor was relieved. He didn't know if he could pretend to like abstract for the entire evening. "Please. Lead the way."  
  
They walked through a arched doorway to an open area. In the middle stood a fountain made from a glazed grey clay. It had three women, standing in a circle with their backs to each other, holding hands and leaning forward as water spilled out of their mouths. "It took me months to finish this." Imirika said as she lovingly touched the base of the fountain. "It's a nice touch isn't it?"  
  
He stared up at it. It was extremely beautiful, and much better than the reddish thing he was looking at a few seconds ago. "It's breathtaking. The lines, the form..." He swept over the figures with his eyes. "I feel like it ought to be standing in the gardens of the Louvre."  
  
"The Louvre?"  
  
"Aah" He looked away from the fountain for a moment and settled his gaze on her. "The Louvre is a very famous museum on Earth that is filled with ancient art." He turned back to the sculpture.  
  
"Sounds lovely." She said wistfully as she tried to imagine a whole building dedicated to pieces of art. She came back to the present and walked up to the Doctor. "Speaking of gardens..."  
  
He looked in her direction and was surprised that she had gotten so close without him even noticing. He didn't back away. "Yes?"  
  
"I did say that I would show you the gardens of this city." She looked out over the wall and into the sky. "Do you think we are done looking at my artwork?" She looked at him and nodded suggestively.  
  
He sensed her impatience and chuckled. "I think we are done here."  
  
He smiled at him excitedly. "Good!" she cried. She grabbed the unprepared Doctor's hand and pulled him through the courtyard and through the gate in the wall.  
  
***  
  
"What about this garden over here?" The Doctor asked. He leaned over a hedge of greenery and surveyed the layout on the other side. Since the "date" had begun, it took a while for him to shake off his nervousness, but his adventurous side had finally surfaced, and he was starting to have fun. "It seems to have quite a bit of flora."  
  
"That one? I don't think we can go in there. It's only open during the day." Imirka said sadly. "Shame too, there is a quite a musical creek that flows through there that I would have liked to show you." She continued down the main pathway leading to the other gardens. When she noticed the Doctor was not following her, she stopped. He was still staring over the hedge. "I could show you this great aborateum only a few yards from..."  
  
"I would like to see this creek." He said suddenly, catching her off guard.  
  
"But I told you it is closed. Maybe some other time."  
  
"It wouldn't hurt anybody if we just took a look." He turned around and held out his hand. "Really, where is your sense of adventure?" His eyes gleamed.  
  
She chuckled. "Back at my studio...Hey!" she protested impishly as he took her hand and led her over to the entrance. She leaned back and tried to counteract his force, but she gave in with a laugh and allowed him to pull her inside. "I guess we could look." She said. He beamed at her, at which she replied with a beam of her own. She pointed toward a couple of trees grouped together. "The creek is over there."  
  
Instead of the Doctor having to pull her, she walked gracefully beside him. They came to the grouping of trees, which revealed a small dip in which a babbling brook was rushing through. The feathery branches of the trees filtered the moonlight in such a way that it created a blue atmosphere. Near the coursing water a few benches were located, and Imirika choose one and sat down. The Doctor followed suit.  
  
She quietly sat and took in the view, hoping that he would take advantage of her silence. She couldn't help but smile when he opened his mouth to speak. "Imirika.."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I just wanted to.. thank you, for this wonderful evening. I have not had so much fun for quite a while. I haven't given myself a chance." He seemed almost embarassed to be saying this, but he continued. "I had been going through some issues for some time, and for one evening you made me forget all about them."  
  
She slightly blushed. "I thank you too. For not making me feel like a freak."  
  
Taking a chance, The Doctor lifted his hand and stroked her cheek. "Like I've said, you're not a freak." He lowered his voice. "At least not to me."  
  
She smiled softly. "Thanks. I think the same of you too."  
  
Without even conciously thinking about it, the two found themselves leaning in toward each other. Their lips touched, and Imirika's arms went around his neck.  
  
At the beginning of this whole ordeal, the Doctor would have never imagined going so far as to kissing her. But somehow it had happened. It was a surprise, but not an unwelcome one. He gave into the moment and kissed her deeply, not wanting it to stop.  
  
*** To be continued... 


	5. Tour of the Louvre

***(previously on "It's mark is upon us forever") At the beginning of this whole ordeal, the Doctor would have never imagined going so far as to kissing her. But somehow it had happened. It was a surprise, but not an unwelcome one. He gave into the moment and kissed her deeply, not wanting it to stop. *** (and now part 5)  
  
"Oh and while I'm gone, do make sure that you finish up those reports on test 34-beta that I conducted yesterday."  
  
"Woah! Doc, how long are you going to be gone? An hour or two?" Tom looked at the long list that the Doctor had given him.  
  
"Well, I really have no idea how long it will take. I do have the holodeck reserved for about 4 hours. And I want to make sure that I keep you busy!"  
  
The Doctor hurried around sickbay, making sure that everything was straight, every once in a while stopping to add something to the already long list that he was putting onto a PADD.  
  
Tom leaned back against a console and watched as the EMH scurried about the room, making more work for him. He decided to change the subject. "So, you really like her, hmm?"  
  
The Doc spun around on his heels, and gave him an equivalent of a why-did- you-ask-that-question look. But after a while he seemed to relax and he set the PADD on a biobed. He loosely folded his arms across his chest. "Well, to be perfectly honest..."  
  
Tom slightly leaned forward, eager to hear the news.  
  
"Yes. She is a very unique young woman. She.." he stopped, suddenly realizing who he was talking to. His cheeks went a shade of red, if that were possible.  
  
"Go on."  
  
"She...acts as if I wasn't a hologram. Like she doesn't care. It's... She is special." The Doc was starting to stare over Tom's shoulder, obviously lost in thought.  
  
Tom cleared his throat to get the Doc's attention and smiled a genuine smile. "I'm glad for ya Doc. It's not easy to find a woman like that. I mean, not even caring that you were a hologram, that's not something that even Seven would do." Tom finished his sentence and began to brace himself, suddenly recognizing that he had made a mistake.  
  
But to his surprise, The Doctor's facial expression didn't seem to give away any signs of grief. In fact, he smirked. "You're right. I guess I hadn't thought about that." He turned around and grabbed a few stray hyposprays and set them on a nearby tray, making sure the sickbay was tidy. He lifted his head and took in a simulated breath, about to say something. "You know, if you hadn't dragged me down to the planet's surface a few days ago, I would be sitting in my office sulking today." He turned back towards Tom. "Thank you."  
  
"Hey, no problem. Just trying to help a friend in need." Tom was actually a little touched. It took a lot for The Doctor to actually say thank you.  
  
While Tom was replying, the EMH grabbed the PADD that he had layed on the biobed. He took it and waggled it in his hand. "In fact, I believe you have done too much for me recently. I think I will save these reports for a later time." He tossed the PADD onto the main console.  
  
Tom, quite relieved, raised up his arms in mock surrender. "Hey I have no problem with that." He chuckled.  
  
The Doctor chuckled as well, in a good mood. "Somehow I knew you wouldn't" He checked the time. "Now if you don't mind, I have a date to keep." He grabbed his portable emitter out of it's case and slapped it on his arm. He nodded his head toward Tom and walked out of sickbay.  
  
"Have fun" Tom said to the closing doors.  
  
***  
  
In the transporter room the air whirred as a transport was being completed. The Doctor stood next to the console, rubbing his hands, although he didn't quite know why. Nervousness? No, I've gotten over that already. Anticipation, excitement? Yes, that must be it. Just wait 'til she sees where I am taking her....  
  
His thought process ended abruptly as she materialised. Imirika stood on the transporter pad, clothed in a satiny-blue. Jewels dripped off her head- dress, and they also adorned a belt tightly adjusted around her waist. To complete the effect her face was powdered in a shimmery silver . In all respects she looked like a queen. But Imirka's expression suggested otherwise. Her mouth grimaced as she lifted one of her sleeves to wipe some of the metallic powder off her face. She spotted the Doctor standing in front of her. "Hello Doctor."  
  
"Hello Imir...."  
  
"In case you were wondering," she interrrupted him, stepping off the pad and acting extremely upset. "Ambassador Prosta found out that I was coming to your ship. He talked with the council and they agreed that I had to represent the culture of our world., 'Not any of this rebelious behavior', as he put it. So  
  
they required me to dress this way or I couldn't go... and I feel... and I feel..." Her voice started cracking. The Doctor stood there, waiting for her to finish her sentence. "...horrible!" She looked down at her outfit in disgust. "I want to change into some simpler clothes , if that is okay with you."  
  
The Doctor took pity on her, although he also thought her reaction was amusing. "I'm sorry that you had to go through that." He smiled at her. "I'm sure that I can replicate a white dress for you."  
  
She looked relieved. "Thank you"  
  
"No problem" He held out his elbow, intending to escort her out. She gratefully wrapped her hand around his arm. "I don't know if this even matters to you.." The Doctor said, wondering if he should finish the sentence.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Well, I think you look beautiful that way."  
  
She smirked. "Anyone looks beautiful when they are covered in pounds of jewels and makeup." She stood on her tiptoes and pecked him on the cheek. "But thanks anyway."  
  
He visibly blushed. "Well.." he cleared his throat. "Let's get you in some 'decent' clothes, shall we?"  
  
She giggled as they stepped into the hallway.  
  
***  
  
She tried to see in front of her, but all that came was pitch black. Her feet moved slowly, not quite sure where to step. Normally she would be a little uneasy about this, not knowing where she was going, especially on a starship, but a strong hand held her wrist and was gently guiding her down the pathway. She heard the swish of a door. She spoke in his general direction. "Where are you taking me?" she teased., tugging on the blindfold with her spare hand. "And why are you making me wear this thing?"  
  
"I thought it would be good for the element of surprise." She heard the rustle of his sleeve and the beeping of a few buttons as he tapped some commands into the terminal on the wall. "The whole effect wouldn't be as magical if you saw the hallway, then.. stepped into this." He finished tapping the buttons and she heard a woosh go about the room.  
  
"Stepped into what?"  
  
"Have you read about our holodecks?"  
  
"Yes. Yes I have. They sound amazing. Why? Is that where we are now?" She started bouncing on her toes, all of a sudden getting excited.  
  
He chuckled. "Yes.." He grabbed her hand and led her forward. His steps were clicking on a hard floor, and the sound echoed against the walls of wherever they were. "Ooh.. Where have you taken me?" She asked again.  
  
They stopped and she felt his hand on her shoulders and they gently turned her about to face something she couldn't see yet. He reached up to the tie at the back of her blindfold. "Are you ready to see this?"  
  
She nodded furiously, tugging the fabric out of his hand. "Yes"  
  
He undid the knot on the back of her blindfold and pulled it off quickly. She blinked and the pupils in her purple irises shrunk very small, growing accustomed to the bright light. She glanced around her. She was standing in the middle of a very large room, with the walls decorated in ornate moulding and painted in a rich gold color. That in itself was odd to her. But when she noticed what was on the walls her jaws dropped open and she covered her mouth to suppress a delighted shriek. Dozens upon dozens of framed paintings covered every single wall. Her eyes darted back and forth and she turned in a slow circle, trying to take every one of the paintings in at once. She took her hands off her mouth as she faced the Doctor. "Where...where..where?" She squeaked. He beamed at her as she swallowed and tried to continue. "This is beautiful!" She said. "Where are we?"  
  
He took one of her hands and used his other to wave at the paintings on the wall. "Mademoiselle Imirika..." He said quite formally, "I give you the Louvre"  
  
"This is the Louvre!" she whispered. She took it all in again. Her eyes were wide as she settled on a gigantic oil painting in front of her. It showed royalty, gathered together, celebrating the coronation of a ruler. The colors, the beauty, it all started to get to her. Tears were streaming down her eyes.  
  
The Doctor noticed which one she was looking at. "That is 'The coronation of Emperor Napoleon' by David." He said.  
  
She didn't exactly hear him because at this point she spun around and grasped him about the neck and lay her head on his shoulder. She was crying openly. "This is wonderful!" she cried.  
  
The Doctor brought his arms around to embrace her. He smiled down at her head. "I thought you would like it"  
  
She lifted her head up to look at him. "I love it. Thank you" She leaned forward and kissed him lightly on the lips.  
  
As she broke the kiss he grinned. "You're quite welcome, Imirika." She smiled back. He broke his gaze with her and he swept his eyes across the room. "So, what would you like to see? In the next room I believe there is the Mona Lisa, which is supposed to be the most famous piece to come out of the Rennaisance period. Also, there are some great showcases on Arabic art, art from the Boroque period, statuary throughout the eras, a court...."  
  
She interrupted him. "I would love to see the statues."  
  
"Oh." He said, offering his elbow again. "I guess I should have exepected that." She took his arm and he led her off in the direction of the the statues.  
  
"What other places can we see on this holodeck?" She asked.  
  
"Almost anything our minds can conjure up. Tropical beaches, city sidewalks at night, mountains covered in snow."  
  
"What is snow?"  
  
He paused in his walk. "That's right. You don't have changing weather like Earth, do you?"  
  
She looked at him inquiringly with a tilted head. "The weather changes?"  
  
He laughed lightly. "Well then, I believe the next time I take you on the holodecks we shall try a Swiss chalet."  
  
Not quite knowing what he was talking about, she replied "I shall like that very much." She continued walking alongside him, wondering what in the name of Chatrana a Swiss chalet might be. She decided she was going to ask him what it was when they turned the corner into a long hallway full of sculptures. She took one look and the question that was lingering on her mind was completely forgotten. "I have never seen so many statues in my entire life..."  
  
***To be continued... 


	6. A Major Decision

***(previously on "It's Mark is upon us forvever")  
  
He laughed lightly. "Well then, I believe the next time I take you on the holodecks we shall try a Swiss chalet."  
  
Not quite knowing what he was talking about, she replied "I shall like that very much." She continued walking alongside him, wondering what in the name of Chatrana a Swiss chalet might be. She decided she was going to ask him what it was when they turned the corner into a long hallway full of sculptures. She took one look and the question that was lingering on her mind was completely forgotten. "I have never seen so many statues in my entire life..."  
  
***(and now part 6)  
  
Captain Janeway took a sip of the hot chocolate in her mug and grimaced. She had decided that she needed to find a new favorite drink and just now remembered that she was never a big fan of chocolate. She stole a few glances at the PADD in her hand while she walked over to the replicator and tossed the mug of cocoa in.  
  
"Recycle", she commanded the computer. It whirred and the mug disappeared. "Coffee, black." A new mug of fresh steaming coffee appeared. She grabbed it off the platform and took a swig as she sat down at her desk. Aaah, much better...  
  
At that moment Harry's voice filled the room. "Captain, Admiral Paris has hailed us and is requesting to speak with you."  
  
She sat up. "Patch it through to my ready room" she said as she tapped at the computer on her desk. The face of Owen Paris appeared. "Admiral Paris, nice to see you."  
  
Owen smiled. "The same to you Kathryn."  
  
His good nature and use of her first name clued her in that there wasn't anything serious going on. She smiled back at her old mentor and friend. "What can I do for you?"  
  
"I have heard that Trisian negotiations are nearly complete."  
  
"Yes sir. Just a few more things to work out."  
  
"That's good, because we are sending you to Crathan Prime. You are due there in 4 days."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"The Crathan government has elected a new president, and requested that an ambassador of the Federation be present, and since you are in close proximity to the Crathan system..."  
  
"I understand. I'll notify the crew. Is there anything else?"  
  
"Not at the moment. I'm sending you the details of when the event is going to happen and what to expect." He glanced off the screen for a second to confirm that the information was being sent. "By the way, how did that first contact go? I heard that there was a..cultural misunderstanding?"  
  
Kathryn laughed. "More like the Trisian ambassador played a practical joke on us. But we all recovered quite nicely." Her upturned mouth twitched.  
  
The admiral looked a little amused. "I see. I'll look forward to reading about it in your report."  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
"I have a meeting in a few minutes. We'll have to finish our conversation later." Admiral Paris stood up from his chair and straightened his uniform.  
  
"Understood."  
  
"Admiral Paris out" The screen went black.  
  
Kathryn turned the cup of coffee in her hand. Another assignment... I guess the vacation is over. She tapped into her computer, starting a message going out to all members of the crew. She notified them that they were leaving Trisus in 48 hours, and that transports and visits to the planets surface was to be terminated in 24 hours time. She stopped abruptly. She remembered a conversation that she had with B'Elanna yesterday. Supposedly the Doctor had started dating one of the Trisians. When she first heard she was amused, happy to know that the Doctor's mood had improved. She hated to see one of her crewmembers unhappy. But if he was serious with this relationship, it would really hurt him to have it ended so quickly.  
  
She sat there for a few seconds, pondering over this with her index finger hovering over the top the console. She realised that she had been staring at the wall for quite a long time and shook her head to bring herself out of it. She finished the message and sent it out. She set her coffee on the desk and cleared her throat as she tapped her commbadge. "Janeway to the Doctor"  
  
"Doctor here. Yes, Captain?"  
  
"I need to talk to you. Meet me in my ready room."  
  
***  
  
"You wanted to see me, Captain?"  
  
"Yes" She shifted her position in the chair. She was silent.. thinking of what to say.  
  
"What was it you wanted to discuss?"  
  
"I just sent out a message to the crew. You haven't seen it yet because I sent for you. There was something I wanted to talk to you personally about."  
  
The Doctor's forehead crinkled in concern. Over what, he didn't know yet. "Is everything all right, Captain? Any medical problems?"  
  
She shook her head. "No, no. Theres nothing wrong in that area." She walked over and stood next to her window, staring out over the globe of Trisus that was looming there. "I called you here to talk about your..." She paused for a second. "..little situation." She turned and looked at him.  
  
"Captain?"  
  
Janeway sunk onto the couch. "I have been told by B'Elanna that you have been becoming intimate with one of the Trisian women.. what's her name..Imirika?"  
  
The Doctor thought he knew where this situation was going. He became even more concerned. "If we had any restrictions concerning this species, I did know know about it.. but..."  
  
She lightly smiled as she raised her hand to stop his explanation. "There wasn't any restrictions. It's perfectly alright." She lowered her arm. The Doctor breathed a simulated sigh of relief. "I just wanted to warn you ahead of time.."  
  
"Warn me of what?"  
  
She leaned forward. "Let me just cut to the chase. Voyager has been given a new assignment and we leave Trisus in 48 hours for the Crathan system."  
  
His face fell flat.  
  
"Now, I understand what it means to become attatched to someone that you have met on shore leave or on a mission. Goodness knows how many times that has happened to me. But, I have been notified that you have gotten pretty serious ." She stopped and waited for The Doctor to respond.  
  
He inhaled and nodded sharply. "Yes, I suppose that's true." His lips turned up involuntarily.  
  
"Well then," She headed over to him and patted him on the shoulder. "I'll leave it up to you, but if you decide to, I am officially giving permission for you to ask Imirika on board with us." Then she stepped aside and headed out her door onto the bridge.  
  
The Doctor didn't aknowledge her leaving. As the door closed behind her, he was left behind in her ready room.  
  
***  
  
"There's your godfather! Say hello, Miral" Tom took one of Miral's chubby little hands and waved it weakly at the Doctor as he walked into sickbay.  
  
The Doctor looked up from what he was working on and smiled. "Hello there" He reached out his arms and Tom handed the one-year old over to him. He lifted her up to eye level and made a face at her. She giggled whole- heartedly, which made her tiny ridges go up and down. He did so love babies. So inocent, unlike many things in the universe.  
  
She reached forwarrd and grabbed his nose, tugging on it slightly. "Doca" she babbled.  
  
Tom smiled at the two and quickly glanced around the room. The sight of multiple padds and tools out immediately alerted him to a problem. "Um, Doc? Is there something going on?"  
  
The Doctor looked at him quickly and then focused his attention back on the baby. "I was just running some more tests. It's been a slow day"  
  
"No, I've seen this before. Is there something wrong?"  
  
The Doctor sighed and set Miral onto a biobed. She immediately started grabbing for objects so he gave her his hand. She happily started to pull on them, twisting them any way she could. He watched her. "Tom, We are friends, right?"  
  
"Yes"  
  
"Can I ask you for some advice?"  
  
Tom crossed his arms. "You always have before."  
  
The Doctor nodded his head, remembering instances where Tom had given him advice on life, and love.  
  
"What is it that bothers you?"  
  
He took a breath in. "Have you read any of the recent messages?"  
  
"No, not yet. Me and Miral have been on the holodeck for a few hours. Playing on the beach. Why?"  
  
"The Captain informed me that we are leaving Trisus in 48 hours."  
  
Tom grimaced, realizing just how this could affect the Doctor. "I'm sorry Doc." Miral suddenly decided that she was bored with the Doctor's hand and scooted near the edge, arms outstreched for her father. He picked her up and settled her on his waist. "How are you going to handle this?"  
  
The Doctor leaned against the biobed. "That's what I'm asking you. The captain gave me permission to take Imirika with us."  
  
"That's great. It seems your problem is solved. So, why are you upset?"  
  
The Doctor's eyes scanned back and forth along the floor, trying to think how to put it. "I don't..." Tom stayed silent, giving the Doctor a chance to organize his thoughts. "I don't know if I'm ready...for a..serious commitment."  
  
Tom shook his head. He wasn't quite sure how to react to that. He looked the Doctor over and it was obvious that he was feeling very indecisive. He had seen the signs before, when the Doctor was debating how to go about talking to Seven after his "deathbed confession" over a year ago. He took a deep breath. "I wish I could help you Doc, but I can't tell you whether or not you are ready. But I do know that you really like this girl, and you need to consider what you would lose if you leave without her."  
  
The Doctor was quiet for a moment, thinking about what Tom had said. He finally looked up and looked him in the eye. "Thank you Tom."  
  
"Hey, no problem. That's what friends are for, right?"  
  
"Right."  
  
Miral started fidgeting in Tom's arms. She let out a small cry that slowly grew louder. "Aah that's my signal" Tom said. "We've been running around all day, I bet she's starving for lunch. I'll see you later. And think about what I said, alright?"  
  
The Doctor nodded. "I will." He watched as Tom settled the little girl on his shoulder and turn out the door. Miral, looking over her daddy's back, smiled at him. The door closed and the Doctor spun around at looked at his empty sickbay. He had some decisions to make. He also realized that for the second time today, he was left alone.  
  
***  
  
One more hour until they cease transport... is what ran through the Doctor's mind as he materialised on the darkened planet. He quickly made his way through the streets, looking for the right building. He passed through the streets and stands, now empty. He finally came to the courtyard he remembered coming to a couple of weeks ago. In the corner of his eye he caught the light coming from the cantina. He walked toward it. The inside was nearly empty, save for a man behind the counter cleaning glasses and one woman sitting in the corner. He instantly recongnized her and sat down across from her.  
  
She leaned over the table to peck him on the cheek. She sat back down, obviously upset. "I heard that you were..."  
  
"Yes. We leave tommorow."  
  
She bowed her head and her black ringlets fell in front of her face. It was quiet for a few minutes. The Doctor watched her, trying to figure out what she was thinking. After a while he determined that he had better say something before they both went crazy. "Imirika..."  
  
Hearing her name set her off. Her mouth crumpled and her hands went up to cover her face. A muffled sob escaped in between her fingers.  
  
The was not the reaction he expected. His eyes went wide with concern as he stood up and made his way over to her side. He kneeled beside her. He reached up and laid his hand on her back, immediately feeling her shudder as he made contact. She continued to cry softly. "It's okay... everything is going to be alright, Imirika..."  
  
She turned toward him and she lowered her wet hands a bit in order to see him more clearly. Her purple eyes were dark and rimmed with red. "No it's not. You're leaving..and I.. I.." She gulped and used one of her tear- stained hands to push back her hair. "I've never felt more comfortable with anyone. You treat me different than everyone else. You make me feel so..." She stared at him intensely., looking into his eyes, trying to find something. "I love you. And I'm never going to see you again." Her eyes started to well up with tears again.  
  
If the Doctor had any doubts before he certainly didn't have them anymore. He took her little hands in his and looked back up at her. He didn't hesitate. "Come with me."  
  
Her eyes grew round. "What?"  
  
All of his emotions were plainly written across his face. "I have thought about it, and I have decided that you are too important to me to let you go." She smiled and he continued. "I love you too, and I want you to come with me."  
  
Once again she reacted differently to what the Doctor was expecting. She fell into him, knocking him off his center of balance, which caused them both to wind up on the floor. The man behind the counter looked up and stared curiously at the couple in the corner. But the two didn't notice him watching. Imirika planted a kiss full on the Doctor's lips. "Yes, I'll come with you." She smiled, showing all of her white teeth.  
  
He smiled back at her. "Good. Because I'm ready to go right now."  
  
"What?" She pushed herself up to a sitting position.  
  
The Doctor sat up as well. "Transport ceases in..." he checked the time displayed over the doorway. "...half an hour."  
  
"But my things...my statues..."  
  
"We don't have time to get them. But I'm sure that the Captain will provide to you anything you need."  
  
She looked a little nervous. "You sure?"  
  
He smiled reassuringly at her. "Yes. Even all the art supplies your heart desires."  
  
That took her nervousness away. She stood up and pulled him up with her. "That settles it. We leave now."  
  
They both laughed as he tapped on his commbadge. "Doctor to Voyager. Two to beam up." He embraced her in his arms and kissed her deeply as the light of the transporter engulfed them, sending them up to Voyager overhead. 


	7. An Angry Woman

*previously on "It's Mark is upon us Forever"...*  
  
They both laughed as he tapped on his commbadge. "Doctor to Voyager. Two to beam up." He embraced her in his arms and kissed her deeply as the light of the transporter engulfed them, sending them up to Voyager overhead  
  
*And Now Part 7*  
  
She wildly stalked down the middle of the hallway, forcing any passing crewmembers to paste themselves to the wall and endure her cold stare. Whereever she was going, she didn't quite know. She just knew she had to get there fast. She lifted up one of her hands to wipe a tear streaming down her reddened eye and continued to walk with her erratic gait. She was angry, saddened, and confused at the same time, and she didn't care if the frown on her face and her tear-stained cheeks gave that away.  
  
Two unsuspecting female crewmembers turned the corner, too busy chatting and typing things into their PADDS to see the furious blonde blocking their path. It resulted in the first of the two being knocked to the ground, sprawled out and looking up to see her "roadblock" standing over her.  
  
"Lieutenant Mowrey, watch where you are going." The woman spat and she quickly passed by her, making her way to the turbolift.  
  
Ensign O'Patrick, quite shocked by the situation, suddenly remembered her friend on the floor. She tucked her PADD under her arm and used both of her hands to help her up. "Are you okay, Emily?"  
  
"I'm fine." The Lieutenant answered as she stared after the dissapearing figure. "What's gotten into her?"  
  
As they were pondering over this, the woman reached the turbolift and stepped in. She took a short breath and ordered "Deck Seven". As the lift shifted it's direction and started off to the deck she requested, she leaned on the back wall and rested her head, gazing up at the overhead lights. She felt sick to her stomach and her head was filled with fragmented thoughts. Damn these emotions, is what came to her mind at that moment. She decided that she had to slow down, think things through, put things in order. Order is understanding...  
  
She thought back to the coversation that she ended a few minutes ago by walking out the door.  
  
"Why don't you trust me?"  
  
"I trust you."  
  
"Then listen to me!"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because, you have a problem. You have been pushing away from me, hiding in your work, you're irritable...."  
  
"There is nothing wrong with me."  
  
"There has to be. Tell me what is going on. Let me help you."  
  
"No"  
  
"Dammit! Open up to me! Don't tell me that after an entire year you still don't trust me." His voice had reached an usually high volume, the frustration apparent.  
  
"I do..."  
  
"No you don't!"  
  
A sigh. "I am not...comfortable with sharing with you. With anyone."  
  
"You can't do that! You cannot keep your problems inside! Tell me."  
  
Another sigh. "Very well..."  
  
Silence, waiting for the finish of the sentence.  
  
"It's you."  
  
"Me? Why would it be me?"  
  
"You are constantly pushing me. Telling me that I need to start being more social, bringing down my walls, what you are doing to me right now. I am not ready"  
  
"Of course you are. It's been nearly five years since... I wanted to help you change, help you with your transition...."  
  
"I cannot change. I am who I am."  
  
"You can change! You are not you right now. You haven't found yourself yet...."  
  
Anger started to rise. "I know who I am! And you cannot change me! You always think there is something wrong with me. That I need help."  
  
"But you do."  
  
"I don't need to take this from you. Or anyone else. I'm leaving."  
  
"You aren't possibly going to leave..." A pause. "I thought this is what you wanted. This entire time. Someone to help you...."  
  
"I guess you were wrong about me. Goodbye"  
  
A large sigh escaped from her lips. Why the heck hadn't she seen it before? All this time... she was just a "pet project" for him, something he would work on then finally set her free like a proud trainer. She grimaced in disgust.  
  
Her thoughts changed to other things. Things that would bring comfort. The first thing that popped into her mind was to head to the messhall and order a piece of chocolate cake. She decided to indulge one day with chocolate and discovered how sastifying chocolate was. She had soon become addicted. Yes, a good helping of chocolate would send her endorphins flying, help her at least feel emotionally sober enough to figure out what to do next.  
  
"Cancel order to Deck Seven. Take me to the Messhall."  
  
She tried very hard to concentrate her mind on getting to the smooth creamy chocolate, to ignore the anxiety that made her foot twitch. But dwelling on chocolate too fiercely only caused her mind to wander further. Chocolate was her one and only indulgence. In the back of her mind something someone once said to her played over and over again. She remembered the frustation in that voice. He was desperately trying to get her to see things in a whole new light. "Indulgences are what make life worth living!"  
  
She remembered who had said that to her. A feeling of regret fell to the pit of her stomach. Her hand flew up to her torso to ease the physical pain. The Doctor had said that. Way back when the two of them and Harry Kim had been captured on that away mission and she was forced to download his programming into her cybernetic implants. She didn't know it then, but he was right. Indulgences were a necessity.  
  
She looked upon herself with shame. She had ignored the Doctor for a long time. Her one true friend for years, and she left him alone in order to pursue her relationship with Chakotay. True, in the beginning, she was only dating Chakotay to experience it for the first time. But after a while she started feeling like there was a connection between the two, so she continued on.  
  
When the Doctor confessed his love for her, she was shocked. She had suspected that he had feelings for her for quite some time, but she never chose to act on them. She would let him choose the place and time. When he did confess, she felt unerved. She already was in a relationship, and she liked the way it was developing. She was mentally screaming "Why now? Why when I am already commited! Why not sooner?" But there was nothing to be done. In the end, she had to tell the Doctor that she was in a relationship. She had to turn him down. She knew now that she had gone about it the wrong way, she could tell by the way the Doctor treated her with a professional attitude. She had damaged him badly, and she felt as if their friendship could no longer exist.  
  
But now that Chakotay was out of the picture, she came to full realization of how much she had hurt her friend, her one companion on the road to humanity. She could only imagine how he felt this whole time, rejected, heartbroken. Her whole body ached when she thought about it, bringing back hidden feelings of romantic attraction to him that she chose to ignore many years ago. With the failsafe device removed, the full extent of those buried feelings now washed through her, her whole body acting on impulse. Suddenly she had a need. A need to see him, to set things straight.  
  
Forget chocolate. She needed to speak with the Doctor. Immediately.  
  
"Computer, cancel order to Messhall. Take me to my quarters on Deck 3." The turbolift shifted for the third time and headed off in a different direction. She tapped on her commbadge.  
  
"Seven of Nine to the Doctor"...  
  
*to be continued...* 


	8. A Chioce to Make

Title: It's Mark Is Upon Us Forever Part 8/12?  
  
By: Abby (sugaraygal@hotmail.com)  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Summary: The Doctor moves on in his life, etc. D/f, D/7  
  
Disclaimer: Paramount owns these characters. But I own Imirika. So I'm copyrighting her! Paramount you can't have her! Bwahaha! I mean, this story was purely written for entertainment purposes so Paramount please don't sue. :)  
  
SPOILERS: Rennaissance Man?  
  
***(Previously in Part 7)  
  
With the failsafe device removed, the full extent of those buried feelings now washed through her, her whole body acting on impulse. Suddenly she had a need. A need to see him, to set things straight.  
  
Forget chocolate. She needed to speak with the Doctor. Immediately.  
  
"Computer, cancel order to Messhall. Take me to my quarters on Deck 3." The turbolift shifted for the third time and headed off in a different direction. She tapped on her commbadge.  
  
"Seven of Nine to the Doctor"...  
  
***(And Now Part 8)  
  
"Where are you going?" Imirika asked. She rubbed her eyes as she sleepily made her way out of the bedroom, wearing a plush robe that she had received from the Doctor as a present. She had wakened from her short nap to find that he had stopped reading his book and was putting on his mobile emitter in order to leave.  
  
He turned around at the sound of her voice. He smiled slightly. "Just going to sickbay for a while. I got a call from Seven. She sounds like she is in pain. She has been having problems with the implant in her arm recently, so I wouldn't be surprised if it came out of alignment again. I should only be gone for a half an hour, at most"  
  
Imirika nodded her head and came up to the Doctor and wrapped her tiny arms around his waist. "Don't take too much time. You promised me a trip to Venice today, remember?"  
  
He smirked. "Of course I remember. I'm a hologram"  
  
She laughed. "Just making sure you didn't have any corrupted pathways." She gazed up at him from her short height. " I have been looking forward to this holodeck time for a week."  
  
He bowed his head and kissed the top of her hair. "I know. I have too." He looked down on her for a second or two before he escaped her grip and headed to the door. "But if I don't get to sickbay now I will be late!" He pecked her on the cheek. "I promise I won't be long." The door swished open and he stepped out.  
  
She padded in her bare feet to the open door. She watched as he started down the hallway. "I love you!" she cried down the hall.  
  
He spun around and walked backwards a few steps. "I love you too" he chuckled, then turned back and disappeared around the corner.  
  
***  
  
The Doctor entered sickbay by way of his usual route and headed straight to his office, preparing the tools used in aligning Seven's implants. He didn't acknowledge Seven sniffling quietly on the main biobed until he carried out the tray with the devices on it and set it on the console. "Seven, how are you, today?" He looked up and noticed Seven's red rimmed eyes. "Seven, did you throw you arm completely out of alignment? You seem to be in pain."  
  
She reached up with her augmented hand and massaged her right arm. "My arm is fine."  
  
Knowing Seven, he suspected that she was hiding behind her Borg stature and opened up his tricorder. "You don't need to hesitate to tell me if you've hurt yourself." He ran the blinking light over her arm. His brow furrowed as he looked at the results on the tricorder. Or lack of. "Hmm, I guess you are correct. This is nothing wrong with your arm." He flipped the tricorder closed. "Then what are you here for?" He leaned slightly on the bed next to her, waiting for an explanation as to why his valuable time was being used up in sickbay.  
  
She opened her mouth to say something but quickly shut it, obviously deciding against it. She turned her head slowly to look at him in the eyes. Something about them caught the Doctor's attention.  
  
Switching to his mentor mode, which had been rusty for a very long time, he set the tricorder down and folded his hands in front of him. "This isn't about anything medical, is it?" She continued not to say anything, but nodded in response. "Then why don't you tell me what's going on. Being silent isn't the best way to communicate your problems." He raised his eyebrow.  
  
She measured him with her stare for a few seconds before deciding what to do. "Then I will tell you bluntly." She pushed herself off the bed and stood up straight. "I am sorry that I have hurt your feelings and have damaged our relationship. I wish to make amends."  
  
A mix of relief and suspicion raised up in the Doctor. Relief because their friendship was no longer on his "failures of life" list, and suspicion because of the way she said the word "amends". There was something about that word that made him uncomfortable. "I would be glad if we were friends again, Seven." He smiled but quickly looked down at his holographic boots, averting her unsettlingly burning gaze for a second. He looked back up. "But what do you mean by that word, 'amends'?"  
  
She gulped, forcing back an emotion that she felt would be inconvenient at the moment. She kept her Borg tone. "I wish to be romantically involved with you."  
  
She could have said that his program was just about to decompile and would have gotten the same reaction. His coordination subroutine failing him for the moment, he stumbled backwards a few steps before he caught himself on the side of the console. This couldn't be happening. Not here, not now! He silently cursed Seven's timing. It couldn't have been worse. "I don't..." He stopped, changing his sentence. "I can't."  
  
Seven had been watching him with mild surprise and showed a look of hurt when he finally did say something. "But you love me. You've said so yourself."  
  
The Doctor raised his hands to his temple, trying to rub away a headache that couldn't actually exist.He looked at her. "I do. I do. But Seven, I have moved on with my life. I am with Imirika now, surely you know that." He lifted his hand only to let it fall by his side, turning around and starting to pace slightly.  
  
Seven leaned against the wall, fidgeting with her hands. "I know. But you can't possibly love her..." she lowered her voice slightly. "...As much as you love me." Her tone came out timid and childish, a harsh difference from her assertiveness a few seconds ago.  
  
Despite having one of the most complex matrices ever deisgned, the Doctor was certainly having a hard time trying to think. He stopped his pace and flipped around to face her. "Well, actually I..." He stopped, coming to a decision that now was not the best time. He changed the subject. "Why?"  
  
"Because...I have realized that I..." she wet her lips before continuing, becoming nervous. "..I love you." She paused and waited for his reaction. He had stopped dead, almost looking as if someone had frozen his program. His mouth was grim, and his brow was furrowed, but when she looked in his eyes she could see many things passing through them. First was shock, then pity, then... she caught it...a distant look of longing. Whatever that look meant, she took immediate action and snapped him out of his contemplation. She walked toward him forcefully with her hands behind her back. "You must make a decision." His eyes opened wide, suddenly remembering where he was and backed away slowly to keep her from getting too close. She kept walking. "You said you loved me and now you know I feel the same way." Her voice became forceful, full of an oncoming anger that spawned from frustration. "Are you throwing this chance at us away because of some woman you met on an away mission two months ago?"  
  
He winced at her harsh words and a pained expression played across his face, not quite sure how to react. This was not fair. She could not just invite herself back into his life and demand attention. Sure, he did still love her, but he had pushed that away in order to find happiness with someone else. And it is was going better than he could ever dream. Imirika had come in and had given him her love. She had virtually erased all bitterness that he had carried around inside himself for more than a year. But now Seven had confronted him and feelings he thought and wished were dead now slapped him across the face, a hot sting stirring in his soul. He tried to fight for control of the situation, but it came out as a plea. "Please don't make me choose." he said deeply, sounding as if he was on the verge of tears.  
  
She didn't back down, despite noticing that she was obviously distressing him. "You must. You cannot love two people. I will not let you. It is not fair. Not to me, Not to you, not to...Imirika." She finished the last part of her sentence with disdain.  
  
He looked away from her. "But I don't...." His eyes shifted back and forth, looking for a clear answer that wasn't there yet.There was no point in trying to argue with Seven. And, he admitted to himself that since Seven's confession of her love just moments ago caused him to remember the days when he had first fell for her, a reverie he was relishing in until Seven broke the silence with her demands. No, he could not make a choice now. He had so many things to consider. His voice came out shaky. "Please, let me think about this. I need time to think about this." He turned away from her and covered his face with his hands.  
  
She stopped her assault. She realised that pushing him even farther would be a bad thing to do. So she backed down. She heaved a big sigh and smoothed out the wrinkles in her suit while making her way to the door. The Doctor didn't even notice her movement. He was too deep in thought, rubbing his forehead again with his hands. The door opened when Seven came near and she paused in the middle of the doorframe. She looked at him and came to realization as to what she had just done. "I'll be waiting for you." she said quietly, watching his head raise slightly. "If you want me." She turned and left.  
  
***  
  
He walked down the aisle of the darkened theatre and slipped in silently into his seat beside her. But not silently enough. She sensed him in the darkness and turned her head to see his sillouhette. She smiled. "Darling, I knew you would show up sooner or later." She put her hand on his shoulder and leaned forward to kiss him. Their lips made contact but she felt that he was tense and pulled away. "What took you so long?"  
  
He leaned against his seat. "I was...busy in sickbay."  
  
"Oh." She made a sad little face in sympathy. "Difficult patient?"  
  
He sighed. "You can't even begin to imagine."  
  
She looked at him for a moment, not quite sure how to comfort him. "Well, I know a way to make you feel better." She grabbed his hand with hers and used her free hand to pull out a program. She showed it to him. "I heard you say once that you loved this opera."  
  
"Pygmalion" He said, reading the title, pushing back a tide of emotions that were linked to that name. "It's about an artist... falling in love with his creation. You have a good memory." He swallowed and weakly smiled.  
  
She grinned. "It's about to start. You came just in time." She stroked his hand. "Relax. You're not working anymore." She leaned her head on his shoulder and noticed that he still hadn't calmed down. The curtain rose and a fanfare of music filled the room. "Enjoy the show. Forget about that difficult patient. You're with me now." She nuzzled into his neck.  
  
He shifted uncomfortably at the contact and looked down at her small fingers on top of his. If only I could, he thought, turning his attention to the opera being played out in front of him, the soaring notes not even touching his soul. If only I could...  
  
*** 


	9. The Choice is Made

"It's Mark is upon us forever" Part 9/12 Author's comments: Okay I found this part extremely hard to write, since I have gotten atattched to me characters and don't want to hurt them in any way shape or form. But I did what I had to do. PLEASE REVIEW! I NEED FEEDBACK TO KEEP MY WRITING MUSE ALIVE!  
  
The Doctor quickly made his way through the corridor, searching for the right door. After thinking and pacing in his quarters for more than half the night with Imirika sound asleep in the other room, he had come to no closer of a decision than when he was first confronted. He needed a second opinion. He just couldn't think properly on his own.  
  
Even though he had witnessed, diagnosed, and treated anxiety attacks in many of his patients, especially in Crewman William Telfer, he was in no way prepared for the waves of anxiety that rolled through his program. He was even convinced that he was having problems breathing. A ridiculous idea he knew but he was gasping for breath all the same.  
  
Throughout the entire evening two thoughts were stuck in a feedback loop. Choose Imirika, you love her. Choose Seven, you love her. The two were constantly arguing back and forth. Split personality, he thought in between the two. He kicked himself mentally. It seemed that instead of coming to a conclusion, he would diagnose himself. What a lousy time for my medical subroutines to kick in. This isn't helping! He stopped walking, letting the anxiety flicker through his matrix. He picked up his pace again, finding the door that he was looking for.  
  
He pressed the button and fidgeted with his fingers while he listened to the cry of a toddler start up. It was followed by a quiet curse and the sound of two people getting out of bed. He was angry with himself that he was interrupting their sleep, but he didn't know what else to do. The crying stopped as the door flew open. He came face to face with a very rumpled and groggy Tom Paris.  
  
"Doc, what the heck are you doing here?" Tom rubbed his eyes sleepily. "It's 0200 hours and I just got off my shift." He paused for a second to take in the Doctor's distressed condition.  
  
"I'm... I'm sorry if I woke you up, but..." The Doctor started to mumble.  
  
Tom interrupted him and pushed him through the door. "That's okay. Just come in." He picked up a few things off the ground and pushed a few scattered toys off the couch. "Um, sit down."  
  
The Doctor settled himself as B'Elanna came through the second bedroom door quieting a whimpering Miral in her arms. She looked up to see the fidgeting EMH on the sofa. "What's going on?" She sat down on the rocker that was across the room, settling Miral on her lap.  
  
Tom scratched his head. "I don't know, I have figured it out yet." He stood next to B'Elanna and crossed his arms. "Care to tell us what's up?"  
  
He stared at the three for a moment, quite unsure how to begin. This is a mistake, I shouldn't have bothered them so late at night, he thought as he opened his mouth to say something. "I..wan....o...alk...." His sentence was interrupted as the anxiety once again disrupted his matrix.  
  
B'Elanna, a little more alert now, sat up. "What was that?" She watched as the Doctor's program flickered in and out. "Here", she told Tom and handed Miral to him, who had decided that she had had enough sleep for the night and was squirming to get out of their grasp. B'Elanna sat down at the nearest computer console and accessed the EMH matrix. She squinted as she read the information passing over the screen. "Hmmm..."  
  
"What?" said Tom across the room, trying to keep Miral quiet.  
  
"Doctor your emotional subroutines are overloading." she spun around in her chair and faced him. "Calm down."  
  
The Doctor stopped flickering and gave her a pathetic look. "I'm trying."  
  
She looked back at the screen. "It doesn't look that way. You had better calm down or I'm going to have to deactivate you to prevent your entire matrix from overloading."  
  
The Doctor, at hearing that, closed his eyes and forced himself to think clearly. He knew that this was the worst possible time to be deactivated. Not when he had to come up with an answer. He opened his eyes again and gazed straight ahead, averting his eyes from anything that would cause him to lose his composure. "Okay."  
  
B'Elanna glanced once more at the computer before she switched it off and rejoined her husband, taking Miral off his hands. With his hands free, Tom crossed his arms and leaned back against the wall. "I think you should tell us what's bothering you, Doc."  
  
The Doctor shifted his position and began nervously, desperately trying to control his emotions. "Alright." He searched for a way to begin. Finding no good way to set up the situation. He just gave it to them point blank. "Seven came to see me this afternoon." He gulped. "She.um.wants to.", he trailed off.  
  
Tom and B'Elanna sat there, awaiting the finish of the sentence. After a moment, it seemed apparent that he wasn't going to finish the sentence without a prompt. Tom shot a quick glance at B'Elanna before he spoke up. "Wants to what? Spit it out."  
  
The Doctor started speaking again. "She wants to...get together with me."  
  
"That's funny," said B'Elanna. "I wasn't aware that Seven broke up with Chakotay." Unable to contain the fussy child in her arms, she set Miral on the floor, who happily toddled off to play with an odd object on the floor.  
  
"Well you're not the only one." The Doctor deadpanned, his first sign of sarcasm all night. He rested his fists on his knees. "She confronted me in Sickbay and demanded that I make a choice between her.and Imirika." He grimaced when he finished, remembering how harshly Seven spoke of her.  
  
Tom let out a low whistle. "Man, that is some situation." He pushed his hand through his tangled blond hair. "But it shouldn't take you too long to decide, should it? You have gotten over Seven, right?" He didn't get a response. The Doctor was avoiding his gaze, looking guiltily down at his shoe. Tom couldn't believe it. He raised his voice slightly. "Right?"  
  
No response from the Doctor.  
  
Tom exploded. "You can't possibly still be in love with her, Doc! I mean, you told me yourself that you were in love with Imirika."  
  
The Doctor continued to evade Tom's angry stare. He came here for advice, not to be lectured. "I do, but."  
  
It was B'Elanna's turn to talk. "But, what? This isn't a good time to be making second guesses, Doctor. You can't just go changing your mind like that."  
  
"I know!" yelled the Doctor, having lost his temper. He finally raised his head, his eyes full of frustration. "I just can't help it, okay? It's not like I expected this to be this way." He stood up and started to pace, like he had in his own quarters just an hour ago. "I thought I didn't love her anymore. And I shouldn't, but.when she told me that she loved me. I couldn't help but stir up those old emotions. I don't.I don't know what to do." He flung his hands up in the air and let them drop with a slap against his legs. "I don't want to feel this way. I love Imirika! I mean, she has loved me unconditionally since the first day I met her. And she makes me feel, normal. I don't want to hurt her."  
  
The couple had listened quietly while he spilled his soul out to them, watching as he walked back and forth through their living room. When he finally finished, they weren't quite sure what to say. Neither of them had faced a problem in their love life quite like this before. So they stayed silent, thinking what to say. But their train of thought was broken when Tom glanced over and saw Miral reaching for his uniform messily laid across a chair in the corner. She immediately fingered the collar. "Miral, no!" he shouted, swiftly scooping her up, trying to get his uniform out of her tiny grasp. When he finally did, he counted the pips. Which wasn't that hard. There was only one. "Where did you put Daddy's pips?" He said, checking her hands and even sticking his fingers inside her mouth.  
  
She grinned wildly at him. "Dunno"  
  
"That is starting to become her favorite word." Tom rolled her eyes and set her down to search the floor. He found one under the chair and one under the uniform where it dropped. "There they are." He picked them up and carefully fastened them back onto his collar. Miral watched with curiosity. "See here?" He pointed the pips out to her. "Don't touch these. You almost demoted Daddy."  
  
Miral giggled as she repeated him. "D'mote Daddy!" She ran off and soon became interested with a stuffed targ.  
  
Tom sighed and set his uniform on a high shelf. Then he wandered over to seat himself next to the Doctor. "I'm sorry about that."  
  
Something similar to a smirk fleeted across the Doctor's face. "That's okay." He watched his god-daughter play happily with herself on the floor for a few moments, and then looked up as Tom laid a hand on his shoulder.  
  
"Doc," Tom said, unsure of how to put delicately what he was about to say. "I am, touched, that you came to me and B'Elanna for help. And it is apparent that you are obviously in a jam." He swallowed a discomforting lump in his throat and continued. "But..."  
  
The Doc repeated him, knowing where this was leading. "But."  
  
"But. I really can't help you with this. This is your relationship we are talking about, not mine. You need to make your own decisions." The Doctor sighed quite loudly, clearly upset with what Tom was saying, but he didn't interrupt him. "The only thing I can tell you is, choose the one who you think you love the most. Someone you see sharing your future with you. However you interpret that, that's for you to figure out."  
  
The Doctor was quiet, staring at his shoes, and fiddling with his fingers, for close to three minutes. He then cleared his throat and looked over at Tom, who was patiently waiting for his answer. "You know." he started, but changed his mind and sighed. "Thanks."  
  
Happy with the EMH's answer, Tom stood up and showed him to the door. "No problem, Doc" He patted him on the back. "We all want what is best for you."  
  
The Doctor smiled. "That's comforting to know."  
  
He was about to walk out when B'Elanna, who had been sitting quietly listening the entire time, piped up. "Hey Doc," she turned around in her chair to stare at him. "Don't do anything to screw yourself over, alright?" She looked worried. "You have a knack for doing that, you know."  
  
"Yes" the Doctor nodded his head, embarrassed. "So I've noticed." He headed out the door. "Goodnight, you three." He pushed the button and the door slid shut behind him.  
  
Tom sighed, scratching his head and making his way over to Miral. He scooped her up. "Okay, you little troublemaker. I think it is about time that we go back to sleep, hmm?" He fingered her little nose and she giggled. "You're not very sleepy are you?"  
  
She smiled and clapped her hands. "Bad Doca!"  
  
B'Elanna snorted at her child's innocent comment as she gathered up her robe to stand up. "That's about right, Miral." Then to Tom, she muttered. "I have a very bad feeling about this."  
  
***  
  
She wiped her brow and stood back to take in the whole scene, thinking about her next move. She reached forward and with a wet hand, smoothed back some clay on the unfinished bust. She wasn't quite sure who it was yet, but it was starting to take on the shape of a man. Yes, a man, the line of the jaw was too square to be a woman's.  
  
She sighed and wiped off her hands on the towel that hung off her waist. She was going to have to think about this. She wasn't in the mood to do any more today. She called over her shoulder, "What do you think so far?"  
  
From around a darkened corner came an aged man with long white hair. He was wearing a small lace cap and a feather quill was positioned between his thumb and forefinger, like he had just come from writing something. He took a look at her progress and rubbed his chin with his free hand. "Hmm." He walked around the shaped block of clay. "Molto piacevole, Belle. Yes, very good. He, it's a he, right? He looks very familiar. Yes, an artist who visited me. An atteggiamento, attitude, he has, no?"  
  
She laughed lightly, "I guess you're right, Maestro, he does look a lot like him. But," she knelt down in front of it, "It's missing something." She stuck her thumb in the clay and made a dimple in the chin, "Yes! There we go. Now it looks just like him."  
  
DaVinci laughed. "Yes, I remember him now!" His belly shook with the laughter.  
  
All of a sudden the back wall disintegrated to show a Starfleet holodeck door. It opened with it's authentic sound and in stepped the Doctor, taking in the Tuscan surroundings, noticing the half-formed bust of himself in the center of the room.  
  
"Ah, there you are, signore! We were just talking about you! This sta."  
  
"Computer, discontinue DaVinci hologram" The Doctor said curtly. DaVinci stopped in mid-sentence and shimmered out of existence.  
  
She frowned. "Why did you do that? That was rude."  
  
He sighed. "Please, it's not like he's going to remember by the time he is reactivated." He was obviously in a bad mood.  
  
She instantly noticed. "What's wrong? Something seems to be bothering you." She sat down on a stool nearby and worked on wiping off the rest of the clay stuck to her small hands.  
  
The Doctor sat and watched her for a few minutes, suddenly losing his cold composure. His face softened. He was getting nervous all over again, questioning his decision. Are you making the right choice? Something doesn't feel right. He shook the thought out of his mind and regained his self-control. "I need to talk to you about something."  
  
She picked up on his urgency and sat up straighter, becoming concerned. "What's wrong?" She walked over to him and set a hand on his shoulder for comfort, but quickly took it away when he winced at their contact. "What's the matter?"  
  
"It's about us." He said quietly.  
  
"Us?" She searched his face, eyes full of questions. "What about us? We're fine, right?" He looked away, not wanting to answer that question. This only filled her with more apprehension. She took his hand and squeezed it, becoming frantic. "Right?" she asked with her voice strained.  
  
The Doctor pulled away from her. He started pacing the floor, thinking up some elaborate lie to tell her. He couldn't very well tell her the truth; he knew that it would hurt her deeply. Like it wasn't going to hurt enough without the truth. He began weaving his tale. "I feel like I am being.smothered." He began weaving his tale. "I feel like I am being.smothered." Yes, that will do nicely. He held his hands up to his chest to emphasize. "I know you mean well, but."  
  
Her eyes got really wide, already knowing where this was going. "No." It came out as a whimper.  
  
Ignoring her pleas to keep himself in composure, he went on. "You are constantly inquiring about my private life and matters, and.." He paused, not knowing what else to say. ".. You're, constantly changing my plans." He knew this wasn't very convincing, but he hoped to death that she believed him. "I feel that this has become a one-person relationship. That you are calling all the shots. I feel like I'm being controlled." He stopped pacing, looking over to see the effects of his ranting.  
  
It was apparent that she was more naive that he thought she was. Imirika had collapsed back onto the stool. Her hand was trembling as it rested on her chest. Gasping, she was choking back streams of tears. She tried to wipe her eyes as she mumbled out a reply. "But you were happy this morning. I had no idea that I was hurting you. You should have said something." She buried face in her hands. She couldn't figure out why he was suddenly backing out of this relationship. "I'm so sorry if I did anything." She collapsed into sobs.  
  
The Doctor decided that it was now time to soften up and end this relationship quietly. He knelt beside her. "No, no, it's not you. It's me. I just can't handle such an involved relationship. I'm not ready." In actuality, I am ready for a relationship, he thought grimly, ready to have a relationship with someone else. He felt he was choking on his own bitter lie.  
  
Imirika shook her head at this. She lifted up a corner of her apron to dry off her face. "Yes, but."  
  
"Listen to me." He lifted up her chin with an index finger. Her usually bright purple eyes were dim and lined with red. She bit down on her lower lip to keep it from quivering. "I'm quite sure some lucky man out there would be glad to have a sensitive, caring, creative." Don't let your emotions get in the way! His mind yelled. Just finish this and get it over with! ".And, efficient woman like you." He finished harshly.  
  
She caught the end of his sentence and looked at him curiously. Efficient? Now that's a word that sounds familiar. She logged that in her memory, having a feeling it was a clue to what was going on here. She had to find out, she couldn't just let him get away from her that easily. She threw her arms around his neck. "I don't want some lucky man! I want you!" She leaned against him, sighing raggedly. "I thought that we loved each other."  
  
He frowned, remembering all the emotions of the previous night. He was about to push her away from him, but thought that it was better just to leave her the way she was, arms thrown around him with white fists clamped onto his uniform jacket. He shifted his position under her weight. "We.did." Her felt her flinch and loosen her grip. "But this just isn't working out. I'm sorry."  
  
She finally let go and sunk to the floor of Leonardo DaVinci's studio, with a sorrowful expression on her face. "I'm so sorry, Imirika." For the first time since they started their conversation, he had a true look of regret.  
  
She leaned forward and looked him in the eye. "I guess this is goodbye." She whispered. They both pushed themselves up to standing position, and stared at each other, silent for what seemed like hours. One trying to figure out what had gone wrong in their relationship, the other wondering if he had made a mistake. Finally one of them took action. Imirika came up to him, tilting her head to kiss the Doctor on the cheek. But her lips met air as he step backwards to escape her.  
  
He hesitated for a moment, then quietly said "Goodbye, Imirika." And with that he left the holodeck, noticing as the doors started to close that Imirika had collapsed into a fit of loud sobs on the studio floor. But he kept walking, and he didn't look behind him.  
  
** To be continued. 


	10. A Not so Grand Exit

***Previously on "It's Mark is upon us forever"***  
  
He hesitated for a moment, then quietly said "Goodbye, Imirika." And with that he left the holodeck, noticing as the doors started to close that Imirika had collapsed into a fit of loud sobs on the studio floor. But he kept walking, and he didn't look behind him.  
  
***(And now Part 10)***  
  
Captain's log, Stardate 5634.5 - Voyager is taking a much needed shore leave on the planet of Partica 4, which is best known for it's hospitality and lush greenery. Unfortunately, not everyone will be able to enjoy it. Imirika, who only joined our crew 3 months ago, will be leaving to a planet called Lohana'thu, in the Empire of Pattoney, in a shuttle we have provided for her. Her reasons for leaving Voyager are obvious. I am sure there are many on this ship that will miss her good nature. End log.  
  
** Imirika watched as different crewmembers filtered through the shuttle bay. Some were checking to make sure the shuttlecraft was ready for departure; others were friends she had made in the last 3 months. But it wasn't like they were huddled in masses, all wanting to say goodbye to her. B'Elanna was there in two capacities, to oversee the shuttles preparation and to see her off. Tom was standing off to the side, holding a squirming toddler in his arms.  
  
A couple of her other friends were there, the Wildmans, and Ensign T'eyla Minh was quietly talking to her two other friends. They had already wished her a safe trip, and now were passing the time until Imirika's shuttle took off.  
  
She looked over the shoulders of the crew looking for one specific face. He wasn't there. It wasn't that she expected him to be there. But it would have been nice to see him one more time. To see if he was hurting just as much as she was. She sighed.  
  
She looked over the shuttle bay entrance just as the doors swept open. She held her breath, hoping it was whom she was waiting for. But she was only mildly disappointed when it was Captain Janeway who strode in. She stepped forward to greet her. "Captain." She reached out to shake her hand.  
  
The Captain raised her arms out of the way. Imirika looked slightly confused. "Typically, when one of my crewmembers leave, I prefer to do this." Kathryn wrapped her arms around Imirika and pulled her into a hug. "I'm so sorry everything had to turn out like this." She pulled back and looked her straight into the Trisian's eyes. "Are you alright? I mean, are you handling this okay?"  
  
Imirika lifted up her chin and straightened her back, attempting to look persuasive. "I'm fine, Captain." She hoped she wouldn't notice her hands fidgeting behind her back, giving away her true emotional state.  
  
"Well, even if you aren't, you have every right to be upset." She patted her on the shoulder. "Believe me, I have gone through my share of breakups." Imirika smiled weakly at this, knowing that this didn't help her feel any better. Janeway continued. "I hope you have a safe journey. Don't hesitate to visit us again sometime. It's been a pleasure having you with us."  
  
Imirika nodded. "Yes Captain. It's been nice getting to know you." She knew that she had never actually talked to the Captain before this point, so what was coming out of her mouth was just formality. She watched as Kathryn patted her on the back and made her way to the back of the shuttle bay, stopping to quickly say something to Tom and to tousle the hair of Miral. She then disappeared behind the other people.  
  
While Imirika was wondering what compelled the Captain to stop by and say goodbye to her when they had never even said hello, someone touched her on her back and caused her to jump in surprise. She whirled around to find B'Elanna holding a PADD. Tom had walked up to stand beside her, Miral walking in circles around his legs. "Well," B'Elanna started. "The safety procedures all came back clear on your shuttle, so you can leave at any moment. I've assigned Lieutenant Cameron to be your pilot. I hope you two get along."  
  
Imirika shrugged her shoulders. "I've never met him."  
  
Tom Paris spoke up. "He's nice enough. Just don't get him started on warp theories." He chuckled at his own joke, but stopped when he realized that Imirika didn't appreciate his humor.  
  
B'Elanna broke the tension. "Are you okay?"  
  
Imirika laughed bitterly at this. "You're not the only one to ask me that today." Do I really look that distraught? She thought.  
  
"Look, I know you must feel pretty awful about all of this." Imirika didn't appear to be upset, but she knew just by looking into her steely eyes that everything wasn't all right on the inside. "I mean, I've known the Doctor ever since he was activated, but he has never made such a horrible choice like this. I don't know what's gotten into him." She ground her teeth, holding back a few choice Klingon words.  
  
"Yeah," Tom added, starting to get a little fumed himself. "If you ask me, there should have been no reason for you two to break up." He crossed his arms. "He has some serious thinking to do."  
  
B'Elanna swiftly shifted her eyes to see two figures coming in the door. "Speaking of which," she said, picking up Miral and encouraging Tom to start walking. "I hope you have a good trip. And that you will eventually feel better about all of this. We have to get going. I don't know if I'll be able to control my temper much longer."  
  
Tom, being pushed by his wife, tried to finish what he had to say. "It's been lovely meeting you, Imirika. In different circumstances I am sure that we would have appreciated you staying on the ship longer than you did. And." He paused. "I'm so sorry about all of this." In some ways he felt that he was responsible for what was happening. The Doctor had wanted him to make up his mind for him, but instead he left it up to the Doctor's screwed up logic. "Goodbye. I hope you have a nice trip." He managed to finish before the impatient half-Klingon shoved him into motion and quickly led him out the shuttle bay doors.  
  
B'Elanna really seemed to be anxious to leave. Imirika speculated on what the cause was, but soon she spotted who had just arrived and were now talking in the corner. It was the Doctor and that Borg Seven of Nine. Imirika's eyes flashed. Now she understood. She had recalled the Doctor talking about the problems he had with her back before she showed up. But now he seemed more than comfortable to talk to the tall blonde, and touch her, it seemed. She clenched her fists until they were a strained white color, watching as the Doctor laid a hand on Seven's shoulder. She had a sudden hate for this woman.  
  
Out of Imirika's earshot, the Doctor was trying to explain something to Seven. She was frustrated at the Doctor's request to come to the departure. "Why are we here?" She said in a clipped tone. "You have nothing to do with her anymore." She bounced lightly on the balls of her feet, showing that she was not content to be in the shuttle bay.  
  
The Doctor sighed, laying a hand on her shoulder. "Just because I am not seeing her anymore doesn't mean I shouldn't make sure she leaves in one piece." He lowered his voice in a whisper. "I at least owe her that after what I did to her."  
  
Seven seemed to calm down. "Very well. You may proceed." In Seven's eyes it was apparent that Imirika no longer was a threat to her. What ever that girl did now wasn't going to change the Doctor's mind.  
  
The Doctor nodded in acknowledgement and started to make his way through the sparse crowd. He noticed as he passed the group of chattering Ensigns that T'eyla gave him a deathly glare. However she looked around him and gave a reassuring smile to Seven. He looked the other way and feigned not to notice. At last he managed to walk up to Imirika, who greeted him half- heartedly.  
  
"Hello, Imirika." He said coolly, acting like they hadn't once known each other as lovers, but as mere acquaintances. Not good ones at that. It made Imirika's heart sink even further, if that were possible.  
  
"Doctor." She decided to play his game and pretend to be Vulcan. "I appreciate that you came to see me off." She folded her hands in front of her and tried to look serious, her head cocked back so she could eye him. He was a good head taller than she was.  
  
"Least I could do." He said, waving it off. They sat there staring at each other, each one trying to guess the thoughts of the other. After a moment of awkward silence, the Doctor decided that the conversation was better than the quiet. "Where are you going?"  
  
She replied immediately, also glad for the interruption of the staring contest. "A planet called Lohana'thu. It's in the Beta Quadrant." She said matter-of-factly. "Their culture is very acceptant of other peoples. They appreciate art and don't really care how you dress. Practically heaven to a person like me. I might actually live in the capital."  
  
The Doctor processed this information and replied. "If my memory serves me right, it gets rather cold in the winters there. I suggest you replicate a heavy coat."  
  
"It's already packed."  
  
"Oh."  
  
Once again they paused, at a loss of what else to say. Once again he broke the silence. "Imirika."  
  
"Yes?" She said expectantly, hoping he would say what she wanted to hear. That he had made a terrible mistake and that he didn't want her to leave.  
  
"I." He hesitated. "I hope you are happy there."  
  
"Oh, I see." She let her disappointment show on her face. "In that case," she darted her eyes across the room to lay on evil look on Seven. "I hope you two will be very happy together. And that your relationship will be.efficient." She finished angrily.  
  
The Doctor's eyes opened wide, realizing he made a mistake of bringing Seven with him. It was time to end this conversation. "Yes, well.have a safe journey. Goodbye." He started to lift up his hand to set on her shoulder, but thought the better of it and just turned around and hurried back to his corner with Seven.  
  
Imirika's discovery infuriated her. She just couldn't believe him, that awful hologram! Whatever warm feelings she still harbored in her heart for him burned up in her fury. She spun around, deciding that now was a great time to leave. She swore under her breath in her own language. She spotted Lieutenant Cameron and yanked on his uniform sleeve, grabbing his attention. "I think that I shall like to leave now, Lieutenant." Without waiting for his answer, she hitched up the bottom of her white skirt and walked up the shuttle ramp. She only stopped long enough to look back over her shoulder, to see the two lovebirds exit the shuttle bay, hand in hand. She snarled in disgust as she took her seat and Lieutenant Cameron started up the shuttle's systems. She wrapped her arms around herself for comfort. The craft's engines powered and soon they on their way.  
  
Only when they were a good light year away from Voyager did a solitary tear slide down her cheek.  
  
**  
  
"Deck Five" The Doctor commanded the turbolift, glad to be out of the shuttle bay. As the turbolift lurched into movement, the Doctor looked over to Seven of Nine. She was silently regarding him, trying to make up her mind about something. He wasn't quite sure what she was thinking about, but whatever it was gave her a contented look on her face. She at last opened her mouth. Her voice was soft, much unlike it had been days previous. "You chose me and let her leave, without a hint of regret." The Doctor listened intently. "You truly love me." She gave him one of her rare smiles, showing she was pleased.  
  
The Doctor smiled back, relieved to know she was happy. He took one of her hands in his and lifted it to his mouth. He lightly kissed it, feeling the shudder moving down her arm. "Of course I do."  
  
She glanced down at the hand he had kissed strangely, awed by the sensation he just gave her. The Doctor could just sense some strange idea conjuring up in her head. She was going to do something, but he didn't quite know what yet.  
  
Without warning Seven yanked her hand out of his grasp and shoved him against the wall. He temporarily lost his balance and pushed himself up, only to be smashed against the wall again by Seven's body. She forcefully pinned him to the side of the turbolift. Slightly confused as to what she was doing, he asked her "Seven, what.?"  
  
He didn't even have to finish his question for she answered him by kissing him full on the mouth. Seven pulled back and looked at him, surprise written over his face. She took her augmented hand and scraped it along the side of his jaw. He let out a shallow simulated breath, liking the contact between them. She fluttered her eyelashes in pleasure. She leaned in closer and whispered to him. "I love you, Doctor." She pressed to her lips to his once again.  
  
Hearing those words come out of her mouth did him in. This time, instead of being in shock, he kissed her back hungrily. He used one hand to find the small of her back, urging her to come closer. His other hand flew up to the side of her face, stroking her cheek with his thumb. She sighed excitedly, tilting her head to tug on his lip.  
  
In the midst of their fervor to consume one another, they failed to notice the turbolift coming to a stop. Only when the door opened did the Doctor have the sense to push Seven away. At first Seven looked at him strangely, not knowing the reason why he broke their kiss so abruptly. The she looked over at the door. Tom and B'Elanna stepped onto the turbolift, both very disconcerted at what they just saw. They had been heading up to the messhall for lunch, but B'Elanna decided what she saw was enough to kill her appetite. "Deck Two." She growled through clenched teeth.  
  
As the door closed Tom crossed his arms, gazing at the ceiling, acting as if it was interesting. He could hear B'Elanna's short breaths, and he knew that she was trying her hardest not to say anything to the couple who were now standing awkwardly on the other side of the lift. He hoped to death B'Elanna wouldn't do anything rash, like attack the Doctor with her bare hands. Not that she could physically harm him, but she sure would try.  
  
Seven went back to her stoic state, carefully pulling loose tendrils of hair back into her bun, as if nothing had happened. However, the Doctor didn't recover that easily. His eyes constantly zipped back and forth from Tom to B'Elanna. He hoped that Tom had enough strength to stop B'Elanna if she decided to harm him. He could sense her blood pressure going through the roof, being in close proximity to him he supposed. He was aware that the two did not approve of his choice. But that didn't sway him. As Tom said, only he himself could make the choice. And if they didn't like it, it was their own problem to deal with.  
  
The turbolift finally stopped at deck 5 and the Doctor and Seven rushed off, sensing that their presence wasn't wanted for a second longer. When the door closed on them, B'Elanna took a deep breath. "P'taq." She growled loudly.  
  
Tom nodded his head. "I'm going to have to agree with you."  
  
**  
  
The Doctor looked back over his shoulder to make sure the doors were safely closed before he made his comment. "That sure was nerve-wracking." They made their way down the corridor. The Doctor had to speed up to match Seven's pace.  
  
"I agree." She kept walking, but turned her head to give him a smile. "But next time, let's make sure that we halt the turbolift, to decrease such, encounters."  
  
"Next time?" He replied playfully. The corner of his mouth twitched up involuntarily in a smirk, the way it did whenever he was having one of his mischievous thoughts.  
  
She stopped and observed him. She couldn't help but smirk also. "Yes, next time." She wrapped her arms around his broad shoulders. "I would like to see these, quarters, of yours." Her voice changed into a more suggestive tone.  
  
His eyebrow lifted in the most amused manner. He slid his arms around her waist, pulling her in closer. "I would love to." He took her hand eagerly and led her down the hallway to where his quarters were located. She giggled most unnaturally, letting her more human side show.  
  
So far, this relationship was starting off at high-speed.  
  
*** (To be continued) 


	11. Indulgences

Part 11/12 "It's Mark is upon us forever"  
  
Author's notes: You can't believe how difficult it was to write this part. It may not be apparent to you why I am doing what I am doing at the moment, but I promise you that after you read part 12 it should all make sense. Enjoy!  
  
***Previously on "It's Mark is upon us forever"***  
  
***And now Part 11***  
  
Harry Kim caught up to Tom Paris in the hallway, slightly out of breath. Tom looked over at him puffing and laughed. "Geez, Harry, if you really need to talk to me you could have just called me on your commbadge and told me to wait up."  
  
Harry looked up and made a face. "I actually didn't think about that."  
  
Tom laughed again. "Ah, the beauty of living on a starship. So," He said, changing the subject. "What is it you want to talk to me about that is so important?"  
  
The Lieutenant waved a PADD at him. "You put me in charge of planning your anniversary party, remember?"  
  
Tom nodded his head. "Yes, the party B'Elanna told me not to have. She said she wanted a quiet celebration, but I know she's lying. Yes, I remember." He grinned slyly.  
  
Harry chuckled and scrolled through the info on his PADD. "Well I was double checking over the guest list, and I wanted to make sure that I have everyone that you want to be there." He held it up so Tom could see. "For instance, do you want Ensign Kaplan to be there?"  
  
Tom groaned and shook his head. "Are you crazy? Ensign Kaplan has had a crush on me ever since I first came on this ship. Then I hooked up with B'Elanna. She's been bitter to me ever since." He watched as Kim made the corrections. "Who else are you wondering about?" He pried.  
  
Harry sighed. "The Doctor and um..Seven. You said that you and the Doc were at odds at the moment so I wasn't quite sure if you wanted him at your party." They came to the messhall doors and he stopped before entering, not wanting the conversation to be overheard by fellow crewmembers.  
  
Tom eyed him for a moment. "Harry," he said. "He's my friend. Just because I'm mad at him doesn't mean I won't invite him to our party. That would just be rude. Especially if you are inviting everyone else, even..." He grabbed Harry's hand and looked at the PADD, "Lieutenant Marley, who I hate by the way." He crossed his arms.  
  
Harry nodded his head. "Okay, I hear you loud and clear." He tapped a few buttons. "So, The Doctor and Seven are on the list, and Marley is off. Are you happy?" He waited for Tom's approval.  
  
Tom smiled and patted him on the back. "Yes I am." He led Harry through the messhall doors. "Now let's get some lunch and discuss the food we'll be serving. I heard Chell say something about Bajoran kajalik soup, but I was thinking something a little more normal..."  
  
***  
  
He felt everyone's eyes on him when he entered the room with his companion at his side. It was clear that the animosity had not dissipated. He started feeling a little uneasy but the soft squeeze from Seven's hand told him that she was nervous as well, but she was prepared to head in full throttle. He sqeezed back, telling her his reply, and they stepped forward arm in arm. Crewmembers parted for them as they walked into the thick of the anniversary party. He looked over at Seven. She looked absolutely breathtaking. She was wearing a slimming purple satin dress. Her neck was adorned with a silver choker, hair pulled back in a braid. The stares the male crewmembers were giving her made her apprehensive, he could tell, because she had her head lifted high and that nervous look in her eye. He smiled at her bravery. He spotted some of the senior staff gathered around the featured couple and moved toward them, listening in on their conversation.  
  
"...And I specifically told him not to. But I have to admit, this is quite a party." B'Elanna grinned as a few chuckles escaped from the group. She turned to her husband. "It's like you can read my mind. Thank you, Tom." She leaned over and kissed a blushing Tom on the cheek.  
  
Tom shrugged. "You're welcome B'E." He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her closer. A couple joining the crowd caught his attention. "Hey Doc! How are you doing?" He reached out and shook the Doctor's hand when the couple came close enough.  
  
The Doctor smiled carefully, not quite sure if the resentment between them had solved itself. But Tom's easy-going nature calmed him down a bit. "I'm fine, Tom."  
  
Tom nodded cordially. "Thanks for showing up for the party." He indicated the fare around them. "A great bash, don't you think? You'll have to thank Harry for the wonderful planning."  
  
"Yes, Thank you Harry." The Doctor said in response to Tom's suggestion. "This is really nice."  
  
Harry waved it off. "It was nothing." He said embarassingly.  
  
Tom took a sip of his champagne. "Hello there, Seven." He said when he noticed her standing beside the Doctor in an uncomfortable manner.  
  
She became alert at the mention of her name and stood up a little straighter. She tilted her head toward Tom in recognition. "Lieutenant." Her eyes darted back and forth as she searched her mind for something to say. "Congratulations on your second anniversary. You must be very happy." She attempted a smile.  
  
Tom and B'Elanna gave their thanks. The captain who had been standing on the other side of the circle with Chakotay, quietly taking the conversation in, spoke up. "You look lovely tonight, Seven. It's nice to see you so dressed up. Tell me, where did you find such a beautiful dress like that in the database?" She sloshed her champagne around in her glass.  
  
Seven fidgted for a moment, not happy with the attention she was getting, while she chose her words. "Actually, I didn't choose this dress. The Doctor chose it for me. I believe he has more of an...eye for these sort of things than I do." She reached up to hold on softly to the Doctor's arm. She started to massage it, letting out an audible sigh.  
  
"Oh." Janeway said simply, put off by Seven's behavior.  
  
The Doctor noticed the reaction. Tom, trying to be as unobvious as possible, as always, cleared his throat and scratched his head, staring down at the floor. Kathryn had gone back to drinking her champagne, taking it in one long swig, and excused herself to head off in search of another. B'Elanna, who had been grinding her teeth, told the captain to wait up and followed her to the other side of the room.  
  
Sensing the death of the conversation, the Doctor carefully removed Seven's hand. The few remaining senior staff dispersed into the crowd. The Doctor looked up to see Chakotay in the corner of his eye. He turned his head to get a better view. The commander was standing quietly, observing the scene, quite a different reaction than the others. He could tell the man was thinking, putting things together in his head. Then, when he noticed that the Doctor was watching, nodded and left the scene. The Doctor was confused by the look he saw in Chakotay's eyes. Was that pity I saw there? The Doctor was trying to figure this out, not sure of what just conspired when he felt his arm being tugged.  
  
"Doctor," Seven said impatiently. "I no longer wish to attend this party. I want to go back to our quarters." She pulled on his arm, willing him to start moving. But the Doctor only held his ground, upset by her request.  
  
"We just got here! Why do you want to leave so suddenly?" He spoke to her more quietly. "Look, just because that didn't quite work out doesn't mean we can't enjoy the rest of the party." He took her softly by the shoulders and slowly led her back into the crowd.  
  
Seven shrugged out of his grip and turned back in the direction of the door. "No. I do not wish to enjoy the party. I wish to go back to our quarters." Her voice was raising to a louder level.  
  
The Doctor attempted to calm her down, aware that she was starting to gain attention. He couldn't understand why she so adamantly wanted to leave, but he knew that if he didn't do something about it, she would embarrass herself further by stomping out of the party, which she had done so frequently in years previous. "All right. If it will make you happy, then we will go back to the quarters." He led her slowly over to the door, trying not to let Tom or B'Elanna know that they were leaving their party so early. But he didn't succeed. Just as they were exiting the messhall doors, Tom spotted them and opened his mouth to make a comment to his wife.  
  
When they got to the hallway, Seven started walking at a speedily, causing the Doctor to lose his stride with her and he walked a couple paces behind. "Seven, could you please tell me why you found it imperitive to leave the party after being there for only 5 minutes?" He asked straight to her back.  
  
She cocked her head back, hearing his question, but she continued walking. "I was not enjoying it. Parties are pointless." She took a deep breath when she reached the turbolift. It's doors were already open and she stepped inside, the doors nearing closing on the Doctor as he hurried to get inside with her.  
  
"They may be pointless to you." He said, starting to get irritated. "But they are crucial to social development. You need to bond with your friends. Form stronger relationships."  
  
Seven rolled her eyes, to the annoyance of the Doctor. "I have heard that from you before."  
  
"Well it's just as true now as it was three years ago!" He raised his voice after her as the turbolift opened and she began her fast pace again. He ran to catch up.  
  
"My relationships with them are irrelevant. I have no use for them. They give me no pleasure."  
  
"Pleasure? What..?" He stopped, dumbfounded by her response. He saw her turn the corner and heard the door to their quarters open. He hesitated for a moment, but turned the quarter and walked into the quarters.  
  
He was thrown off-balance by a forceful Seven. She kissed him hungrily, backing him up against the table. A grunt escaped from the Doctor's throat. He took his hands and pushed against her, causing her to break contact. She sighed, irritated that he had stopped her so abruptly. The sudden change of Seven's behavior disturbed him. "Seven, what the hell is going on?" He tried to walk away from her, but she held him in place.  
  
She pressed on him again. "I wish to make love to you Doctor. Let's go to our room." She kissed on the cheek seductively. She pulled on him, then turned to head to the room.  
  
The Doctor didn't follow. He grabbed her wrist and spun her around, confusion and anger clearly written across his face. "No, Seven!" Shocked by his response, she yanked on her arm, trying to free herself from his grip. But he held tight. He saw the way she glared at him. There was something in those eyes that unsettled him. He pulled her closer, speaking directly to her face. "There is something wrong. Tell me what it is."  
  
She was quiet for a moment, regarding him. She considered answering his request, but at the last moment she chose not to. She tried to pull away from him again. "There is nothing wrong."  
  
The Doctor knew it wasn't true. Her hesistance grieved him all the more. "You're lying to me! Don't you trust me?"  
  
She stopped dead in her tracks. "I trust you."  
  
"Then tell me what is wrong!" He let go of her wrist and saw her walk over to the large window. The glow of the stars illuminated her sillouette.  
  
"I have gone through this argument before. I do not wish to go through it again." She shifted her weight and folded her arms behind her back.  
  
"With who? Chakotay?" She glanced back at him, alarmed that he had figured that much out. "I saw him at the party tonight Seven. Something happened to you two. Something he doesn't want to happen to us. There is something wrong. You have changed. Tell me what is going on!" He strode up beside her and looked her full in the eye.  
  
She felt like he was using his eyes to bore into her soul, bearing her secrets. It was an unpleasant sensation. She turned away from him.  
  
The Doctor sensed he was not going to get anywhere with her. She was unshakable in her attempt to keep her problem to herself. It was futile to try to force anything out of her. He sighed and turned around. He slowly made his way to the door, planning on leaving so she could think this out on her own. He reached the door and was about to announce his departure when something happened that he did not expect. She answered him.  
  
"Someone once told me..." She began, staring into the depths of space. "...that indulgences are what made life worth living."  
  
The Doctor stilled, a wave of understanding crashing down on him. Suddenly it all made sense...  
  
*** To be continued... 


	12. Epilogue

It's Mark is upon us forever Part 12/12 (Epilogue)  
  
*** (Previously on It's Mark is upon us forever)***  
  
He reached the door and was about to announce his departure when something happened that he did not expect. She answered him.  
  
"Someone once told me..." She began, staring into the depths of space. "...that indulgences are what made life worth living."  
  
The Doctor stilled, a wave of understanding crashing down on him. Suddenly it all made sense...  
  
***(And now the conclusion) ***  
  
The object in front of him lost it's structural integrity, blurring outside of it's normal parameters before it slowly regained it's formal shape. He suddenly realized he was spacing out and blinked, and his vision was once again normal. When you're lost in thought it's easy to forget what your eyes are doing. He sighed and resettled himself on the sofa, twisting around to stare out of the large window showing the expanse of space. These didn't keep his interest long either, for the stars soon became blurs in his vision as well.  
  
The answers to the questions he had been asking himself were right in front of him, but it didn't make him feel any better. The answers themselves were far worse. But the question most prominent in his mind was Why? Why did I let this happen?  
  
The mess that bound them together started nearly two years ago. He remembered the away mission clearly. It was the first time he had ever experienced such profound sensations. Before then he didn't even know what he was missing. He felt jealous of them, the organics that took advantage of such a gift all their lives. But she didn't care. She ignored this blessing, denied herself true pleasure from life. He tried to make her see that it wasn't irrelevant, that things such as this were what made life wonderful, unique, invigorating. In the end she saw his point and attempted to integrate this vital component into her life. He had been pleased. But now, it seemed that he had pushed it a little too far.  
  
Then came the day when she asked him for help. She wanted to feel emotions like any other human. She had recently found a use for these frivolous emotions and was eager for them. He knew what she wanted them for, why she was rushing to get the procedure over and done with. It pained him, because these emotions were not to be wasted on him. But he kept his mouth shut and performed what she requested, and watched as she happily ran into the arms of another man.  
  
No one was to anticipate how these emotions would confuse her. What was once dull for her became exciting, exhilarating. The new emotions and sensations that she never knew she was capable of, swarming around her and threatening to drown her in delight each and every time she tasted his lips, felt his hold on her. She loved the way the sweetness of delicacies such as chocolate flooded her mouth, leaving a trail of warmness as it traveled down her throat. These new experiences they overwhelmed her. She craved them. Indulgence became her addiction.  
  
But indulgence is not always what she received. When she was faced with a challenge that gave her not pleasure, it frightened her. She didn't want to grow, she wanted to stay where she was and wash herself in this sensuality forever. Friendship, work, personal development. All of it was irrelevant. Indulgence was all she needed. And for a long time that phrase that she once heard on an away mission floated in her mind. Indulgences are what make life worth living. Yes, love, pleasure, sensations. These were what she lived for.  
  
And this was the reason why she ran. Her wants were becoming separated from her, forced away from her by someone who wanted to see her change. Someone who noticed that she was shrinking away from everyone and descending into her own little world. But she wouldn't let him. She ran, in search of someone who could give her what she most desired.  
  
Then he came into the picture. She pulled him away from things that were important to him and made him believe that she loved him. It was apparent now that it wasn't the only reason why she confronted him. He now knew what else she wanted. What made him frustrated was why he didn't see it sooner.  
  
For years, he had adored her from afar, watching as she had relationships, never once considering him as an option. In his eyes she was the perfect woman. Beautiful beyond measure, intelligent beyond understanding. So he sat there, and pined for her. In his mind he built a pedestal for her upon which she stood. He looked up at her, at what he couldn't have. But now she was his. While her obvious problems were piling up around him, he chose to ignore. Rather than trying to see who she really was, he was still holding on to the fantasy. He was afraid she wouldn't be who he always dreamed her to be, and in the end that was the only thing he ended up with, an illusion.  
  
His eyes were opened too late.  
  
His world came crashing down around him.  
  
He fought for their relationship, tried to help her see her own shortcomings. It wasn't noticed. She was too far away to understand him. Too sucked up in her own wants to care. He now understood why Chakotay looked at him like that. He, too, had realized the impossible too late. And now Chakotay was pitying him. The next man Seven was going to devastate.  
  
He knew why all of this had happened, why everything ended up the way it did. He curled up his lip in self-disgust. It was all because of his one bad decision. No matter how many times he tried to find some other reason to blame, it was useless. It was all because of him and his greed for his fantasy. Why he thought that it would be all he dreamed it would be was presently beyond him. And that one decision had one major opportunity cost.  
  
He dashed his one chance at happiness, all for a fantasy.  
  
He tried to turn back, try to fight himself out of his situation. He begged Seven, saying that this relationship was falling apart and that it wasn't going to work out. When he saw her reaction, he quickly quieted his pleas. She was too emotionally unstable for such a blow. The look of anxiety on her face when he talked to her was clear enough. She would slide into depression, go crazy, if he left her. He was her only link to the real world. Without him, the few threads that she still held on to would be snapped. He just couldn't do it. He still loved her too much to do that.  
  
He had searched and inquired after Imirika, wondering what had become of her, if she had been torn apart so horribly as he had. But when he received an answer from her, it wasn't what he wanted to hear. It was a recorded message from her from her current residence on Lohana'thu. He could tell by her face that she was somewhat upset by the sudden letter from him, not quite sure how to respond. But when she finally did speak, her voice was soft and cracked. She had become engaged with a Pattonian gentleman. She couldn't finish the rest of the message because she was too emotional.  
  
He was confused by what he felt. He wasn't quite sure if he was happy for her, sad because she was lost to him forever, or if he was jealous because she had found happiness without him. Whatever it was, it left a cold feeling in his heart.  
  
So this is it, then. Life was ruined. He was stuck. No way to fix what he had done. Seven was miserable, he was miserable, and the only person he thought to escape to was no longer an option. He had made enemies of those he once considered friends. They seemed to be opening up to him again, but he knew in their hearts they would never forgive him. Not after he so thoughtlessly did what he had done.  
  
He sighed and continued to look out at the stars. It's funny how something that started so long ago could have such an impact on your life. How things said, decisions made, would forever change the shape of our destiny. What was his destiny, he could never know. All he knew was that it would take a long time to fix what he had done, and even then he might still not live it down.  
  
He heard the door swish behind him as someone entered the quarters. The lights were off, but he knew who it was. He didn't turn his head as his asked his question. "Where have you been?"  
  
He heard an intake of breath, but it ceased, like she was going to say something but she decided against it. He heard her step over across the room. "I'm going to bed." She said quietly, knowing that he wasn't in the mood to talk.  
  
He turned his head enough to see her disappear around the corner into the room. She was getting worse. Her back was slumped, and her once full figure was starting to deteriorate, her hair haphazardly falling out of its bun. He knew where she had been. For the last week she had retreated to the holodeck, spending countless hours there. He tried to convince her to regenerate, but she had altogether abandoned the idea. She was falling apart. And someone needed to fix her. Someday he might, if she would only listen. So many things needed to be straightened out; she had things she needed to learn, to understand, but it wasn't going to happen now.  
  
Was it ever going to happen? He wondered. Will I be able to fix the problem without digging ourselves deeper? Silence only answered him. He searched the stars, but they offered no help. Only one thing came to his mind.  
  
We are all molded and remolded by those who have loved us. And though that love may pass, we remain, nonetheless, their work. No love, no friendship can ever cross the path of our destiny without leaving its mark upon us forever.  
  
-Mauriac  
  
THE END 


End file.
